Ever think sometimes therapy can be unhelpful?
I'm going through second round of therapy. The first time around I spent a year unraveling traumas from childhood and I started to make peace with things in my life, I made it to a space of forgiveness and acceptance.
I chose life. I chose it as it was, to make the best of the cards dealt. Then stepped off the gas and progressed thru life. I opened a new chapter where I explored relationships that I had previously avoided owing to lack of self worth issues. Recently I uncovered with all that acceptance some patterns were still messing up this relationship stuff. I was advised to go back to therapy.
Now we have uncovered a deeply troubling core belief that has been in my subconscious. Once floated I cannot remember a time in life I have never had it. I don't know what to do with it. I was assured we will work through it and that we will get through this etc, but my next session in spaced 7 days away, 24 hrs in and I don't know what to do with it. I can't think of a single person in my life I can discuss this. And it nots like I don't have super supportive friends, they are warm and sensitive, but this is so painful for me to share with anyone.
I can't distract myself enough or white knuckle thru it enough.
I rave with a friend who I used to encourage trying therapy cos I see unresolved issues in him. Maybe he has it right, therapy is too confronting. What's the point of uncovering this, it's going to be years to unlearn it. By the time I have the skills i would be old enough to not use it.
Might as well have lived with the symptoms.