u/greishayaeger1289

It's been a few days and I keep observing this, I am mostly all throughout the day in my head. I talk to myself and I enjoy jokes or music, it's just me and myself. Being around people no matter how hard I try to fit in, I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I'm 27F and I feel like I am late to the game of fitting in somewhere. Loneliness causes a lot of peer pressure to fit in I feel and belong. But, I feel it still leaves me unhappy at the end of the day. A dilemma.

Every single day I feel like I have to climb Mount Everest. I had a bad episode of depression and anxiety that scared my parents to not me out of their sight. Now, when I have to go to work and be normal, I just feel it is very difficult to understand cues, politics in workspaces, and just people in general. I get extreme IBS around people and social scenarios. Shifted many workspaces and have to move again for opportunities. But, feel like a stunted person with no growth whatsoever. My anxiety does not let me live in peace. Everything is over exaggerated and loud. I feel it is easy for other people than me.

I am 27F from India and have a humanities background. I don't see much opportunities in my field in the country. I have never lived alone nor studied alone but I want to study abroad and change fields if possible. I need genuine opinions on to atleast start the step. I would really appreciate it.

I am 27F and I keep venting here to make some sense of it. Indulging in hobbies and watching movies/shows to battle loneliness only to an extent. As night creeps in, the clock keeps ticking away, I feel loneliness is the deepest then. The silence around me reminds me of how my day went, just pretentious talking and how are you's and mere fine's. Loneliness for me has become a regular emotion that I am unable to shake it off. No matter how active and pleasant I am everyday, that gnawing feeling never ends.