31F getting physically and mentally sick due to chaos at home
I’m a 31F married to a 34M for 4 years- It’s a love marriage. We married fairly soon after we started dating. It’s an inter-culture marriage. Slowly got to know that they are super orthodox and chaotic. FIL has a history of running away from home, MIL has some sort of mental issue- keeps getting episodes (very hard to be around her) and my elder BIL is around 40 and is without job and keeps making bad decisions.
I tried to people please them in the first 2-3 tests of marriage and soon realised they are always going to be difficult. Husband was initially on their side and slowly began to se e cracks. Every time they call there’s some new issue or chaos they add to existing tensions. The threat is that they are super bad with money and I’m constantly living in the fear that it’ll fall on our head. It’s happened all the time. I’ve drawn some really hard boundaries. I find them super strange and chaotic and financially irresponsible. It feels very unstable, and I’m not able to cope. I keep getting sick (medically there’s no reason) and I know it’s emotional- I’m also not able to conceive.
My husband is on my side but I fell like we should not cut them off- but I’m not able to keep them in my life either. Has anyone been in this situation? What can I do to feel better? How to get more peace?