u/guywithouteyes

You’re given a button.

Every time you press it, you permanently gain something of your choice:
• perfect physical health,
• +10 years added to your lifespan,
• peak athletic fitness,
• immunity to disease,
• greatly increased intelligence,
• perfect looks, you’re now a 10/10,
• or any other equitable personal enhancement.

However, each press also has a 33% chance of causing a random person somewhere in the world to die instantly. You are grouped in with the list of possible names to be picked to die, in the unlikely event your name is selected out of the billions on Earth.

The victim is selected through an IQ-weighted system. People with higher IQs are more likely to be chosen, while people with lower IQs are less likely.

Nobody would ever know you pressed the button.

How many times do you press it, and what are you choosing?

Once every 7 Wednesday's, Thalmund carries a cheap moonstone sold at 4k gp (122k value) and today's the day, for 24 more hours only starting at 00:00 game time.

For those who dont know Thalmund's shop, it is about 15 steps south of the City of Um smithery. He's an npc that sells 4 items every Wednesday. Quickest tele is either Underworld Grimoire or Um lodestone.

If it's your first one, make it into either:
Alteration Necklace: Enhances alteration glyphs by 20% multiplicatively, e.g. Multiply III increases output by 72% instead of 60%
Passing Bracelet: Provides teleports to 3 locations in Um, most notably the Dark Portal, which makes necrotic runecrafting hilariously fast. (IMPORTANT: Cut the moonstone, craft the moonstone bracelet, and enchant it all while in Um to complete the hard diary task. Trust me, you don't want to be time-gated out of this for 7 weeks if you miss the opportunity.)

It is also used in making the t100 pickaxe.

You are offered money to fight one animal in a fair 1v1.
No weapons. No armor. No traps. Empty arena.
You either win by incapacitating the animal or survive for 5 minutes.

EDIT: If you win the fight, and survive long enough to accept your money, your healthcare for rehabilitation will be covered at no additional cost. Don’t worry about the healthcare costs associated with injury if you DO win.

Which is the highest payout you’d realistically attempt?

Payout - Animal
$1 - Ant
$25 - Rat
$250 - House Cat
$1,000 - Goose
$5,000 - Medium Dog (pit/lab size)
$12,500 - Chimpanzee
$20,000 - Wolf
$40,000 - Grizzly Bear
$75,000 - Gorilla
$100,000 - Tiger or Rhino

Bonus points if you come up with creative animals to place somewhere on the scale, along with realistic payout amounts that actually match how dangerous they’d be.

EDIT:
Ground Rules:
1v1 in an enclosed arena.
No weapons, armor, tools, vehicles, or outside help.
Both you and the animal start healthy and fully grown.
The animal is actively trying to fight/defend itself.
You must actually defeat the animal or survive 5 minutes of direct engagement, no hiding, climbing, or stalling.
You don’t get prep time or special knowledge/training.
Assume realistic behavior and physics (no anime logic).
The payout should match the actual danger level of the animal.
The arena is 7,854 sq ft. It’s a perfect circle with 100 ft (30.48m) diameter. Walls are 30 ft (9.14m) tall.

For those who made it this far, bonus addendum:
You get ONE free respawn if you fail your first attempt.
So now the question becomes:
What animal are you willing to fight on Attempt #1 knowing death isn’t permanent?
And after experiencing that first fight, what animal are you choosing for Attempt #2 when the death becomes permanent?
If you die on Attempt #1, you respawn fully healthy.
If you die on Attempt #2, that’s permanent.

(Including every point on your back)

(Including every point on your back)