u/gzej

I'm not sure where to look for such things and I'd really want a skin based on my oc :3

So I'm basically an aurora OTP and I wanna have a backup in case I get filled into top lane and I heard aurora also works there, but I have basically no experience when it comes to top lane so I wanna know if aurora is good to learn it with

I'm just really scared about the reaction from my parents, it would be really hard to hide patches/pills/vials etc from them as they LOVE to snoop around, and im just rly scared about ending up on the street. I'm still 19 so I feel like i still got time and such. But at the same time living in a male body is making me very miserable, what do I do? I already have an appointment set up for january for an endoctrynologist, but I am having doubts and fears on it, I really just don't know.

I tried grindr but it's just full of ppl sending me d pics and its rly annoying, I'm mainly looking for apps where T4T people actually exist

I genuinely feel so lost, I discovered I'm trans about 3 years ago, literally randomly was coming back from my job and thought "why don't I try going by she/her pronouns" after a period of a lot of emotional turmoil, my psychiatrist at the time thought that might have been because of my "twisted view of masculinity due to several men in my life being abusive towards me" whatever that means, to my knowledge I didn't have any or the telltale signs of being trans in my childhood, but at the same time I don't feel comfortable using he/him or being referred to as a man or by my dead name, though I sometimes feel that I just "faked it enough that I started to believe it myself. I'm also rly scared of starting HRT, scared of the whole process of it, how my body would react, all of the costs associated with it etc, and I'm thinking if I shouldn't just, wait until I live by myself? I'm genuinely so lost and I don't know what to think anymore, is this stuff a common experience? As in the "I'm surely faking it and I'm not actually trans", is that common? I'm genuinely scared.