15 days ago, I was afraid I wouldn't make a single friend. Today, I couldn't hold back my tears while saying goodbye.
Ignore the flair Long post:
Today, my OC training ended, and honestly, my heart is full of emotions I can't put into words.
Fifteen days ago, I was genuinely nervous. How was I going to socialize? How would I talk to everyone? Would I even make any friends?
I'd previously made a Reddit post about struggling to socialize, and I was carrying those same fears with me when I joined OC.
During the first few days, I'd sit alone in class during breaks. The only time I'd speak was when we were put into groups and had to participate in an activity. Other than that, I barely spoke to anyone.
I'd go get a coffee during breaks, take my cup, find a corner, and drink it alone.
Then, slowly, things started changing.
I began talking to people one at a time. Nothing extraordinary, just small talk. A conversation here, a few words there. Eventually, some of them started calling me over during breaks.
Over the last few days, people began making plans to have lunch together. I wanted to socialize, so I decided to join them.
After just a couple of lunches, I started opening up. I began talking to everyone, laughing with them, and even playing board games with the group. I genuinely had a blast.
Somewhere along the way, the people I'd been nervous to talk to became the people I looked forward to spending time with.
And then came today.
Our last day.
We went out for lunch and ended up spending around four hours together, laughing, talking, teasing each other, and making memories.
Four hours that felt like they passed in minutes.
And then came the hardest part: saying goodbye.
There were smiles on our faces, jokes to lighten the mood, and laughter right until the end. But beneath all that, there was an emotion none of us could quite express.
You know that feeling when you realize, in the middle of an ordinary moment, that one day you'll look back on it and wish you could live it all over again?
That was today.
One of our faculty members had told us something during the training:
"You should socialize as early as possible. By the time you actually get close to one another, the training will be over. And that will be your biggest regret."
At the time, I understood what he meant, but I don't think I truly felt it until today.
Now I'm back home, going through the photos and videos we've captured over these 15 days. I'm smiling at some moments, laughing at others, and suddenly feeling that lump in my throat when I realize it's all over.
My eyes are filling with tears as I write this.
I know we'll all move on with our lives. We'll get busy with studies, work, and everything else that comes our way. We might not meet as often as we'd like. Maybe, eventually, we'll even lose touch with some people.
But these 15 days will always have a special place in my heart.
I joined OC worrying about whether I'd be able to socialize and make friends.
I'm leaving with memories, friendships, and a heart that wishes it could have just one more day with everyone.
To anyone who struggles with socializing, especially those who are afraid to take the first step: please, just try.
Start with a small conversation. Join them for lunch. Say yes when someone invites you. You don't have to become the most talkative person in the room. You just have to give people a chance to know you.
Because sometimes, the people you're afraid to approach on the first day become the people you find hardest to say goodbye to on the last.
And to my OC batchmates, if any of you ever come across this post, thank you for making these 15 days so special.
I wish we had more time.
I really, really do.