u/hardrocknick_2001

I had this person specifically ask for my details to contact me about a tattoo. My god, I’ve never dealt with anything like it. I thought it was typical run of the mill “how much for a tattoo” -“how thick are two planks of wood” type stuff. And it was at first. Kept asking me for a price but wouldn’t respond to my message asking key details like placement, size, shading or no shading etc. you know, the stuff that really decided on the price. I just kept replying to my message politely saying “if you can answer these questions I’ll be able to get you a price”. Still no answer to it really. Just a bunch of other questions. I had a feeling they didn’t really understand what I was saying at all?? Idk.

So I said “hypothetically if it was palm sized and as the reference sent, it would be this much” and then they kept asking for a price still. And finally after several hours they said “a little bigger than that”. So we’re getting somewhere. Nope. Scratch that. New plan. New tattoos. Now I must price 10-20 small tattoos (which again, I don’t know what these would be of or what as we haven’t gotten there yet. And still haven’t). So I suggested a half day or day session and we just get what we can get done. They understood this.

Now we’re on the deciding of what they actually want. They told me some themes so I had a Quick Look on Pinterest for them and sent over some general ideas just to get them started and told them to have a look on the app and take their time to figure out what they want. They don’t know how to use Pinterest now. I try explaining but they kept demanding that I search up all the tattoos and designs they want. Issue here is, I don’t know what they want fully, they won’t tell me, and it’s also not my tattoos. These have to be things they want. And it’s late. I’m not spending my evening searching, saving and sending 50+ designs after I’ve already spent hours dealing with the initial tattoo design which got changed into this. So I gave them some instruction on how to use Pinterest and went to bed.

I woke up to 13 messages from them. “You there?” “Where you gone?” The previous day I couldn’t even be away from my phone for more than 2 hours without them chasing me up. Which is fine if we’re in the middle of something. I wouldn’t dip then. But I’ve done my part. I’ve explained pricing, what we can do. Design ideas, potential directions we could go down artistically. It’s now up to them to figure out what they want and send some ideas my way. There’s not much else I can do without a booking and deposit and the information I’ve asked for multiple times. I suggested an in person consult but nope.

When I responded in the morning they sent me some designs they found. And was figuring out what else they wanted. I suggested some more Disney characters as they like Disney and they said “yea but which ones?” Idk??? Your favourite ones?? Why would I know that. I just have the feeling that this person wants me to basically spoon feed them the entire process. I can imagine that if they book in, pay a deposit, the time between that and the appointment will not be a very fun time for me. Daily updates needed by the hour. Mind you, they already have a decent amount of tattoos. They’ve done this whole process multiple times. And the cherry on top, they only respond in voice notes.

Edit - my main issue is it’s upsetting that she keeps making plans with me, never following through with them because of any reason (not got the time or money etc) then making the exact same plans with someone else.

I’ve (24f) been friends with this person (23f) for over a decade. We’re very close. We see each-other almost everyday, just hanging out and chatting. Last year I got out of a relationship which meant I could finally start booking holidays and stuff as long story short, I had to convince myself I didn’t want a holiday the entirety of the relationship.

8 months ago we planned to go on holiday in the off season. I went out and got a new passport as my old one expired. Then it fell through bc this same friend had something expensive come up and couldn’t afford to but promised we’d go another time. Then a few months later we discussed going somewhere sunny and cheap for a few days just to get away. Then she started talking about how she wants to go travelling alone as well. I communicated that this upset me as we couldn’t go abroad bc she couldn’t afford it, but would then afford to go somewhere by herself. Whilst I’m just sitting around waiting for her to come back so we can maybe go abroad again. Further context, I haven’t been on holiday in over 10 years for many reasons out of my control.

Then she spoke with me about going somewhere again. We got up the bookings and potential dates and hotels ect. I was ready to go, paid for travel insurance. I just needed her to confirm it was all good on her end. Then we just stopped talking about it.

I brought it up again very recently that we need to go on holiday soon bc I’m really wanting to go. And then she just casually mentioned how she booked a holiday with another friend already. Which again, has really upset me. And that bc she’s spending this money and had another expense come up she won’t be able to afford to go with me for a few months. The excuses were that “she promised this friend ages ago” ?? And me?? And that we could go to Amsterdam with her two work friends which she had already planned (mind you, she’s forgotten that we also planned to go to Amsterdam). I don’t really appreciate the secondhand invite for a holiday with two strangers to me for a holiday which we had already planned to go to together.

I’m just very upset and disappointed yk? Bc we’re supposed to be very close, I’m her oldest friend, we see each other almost every day. We’ve never had issues or arguements. She’s apologised but like idk? We’ve had this conversation before. I know she’s a massive people pleaser and can’t say no to anyone but will say no to me bc she knows I’m chill and get it. She’ll get into things she doesn’t want to do and can’t afford to do and will complain to me about it all the time. But it also gets to a point where it’s like, why are you putting other people over me? Random work friends? It’s okay to disappoint random peers sometimes and say no, like you feel comfortable doing with me. But it feels like she’s taking me for granted and that I’ll always be there just waiting yk? I’m still upset about this and idk what to do and where to go with this. I’ve mentioned that it’s upset me, and explained why. She says she understands and that she “would hate her too”. But idk, I just think it’s genuinely so easy to not do this? Am I overreacting?