u/harumi2012oficial

Recently I had a dream that I watched a ChiknNuggit movie with my mom, like a full-length film. If you’ve watched a Minecraft movie, it’s sort of in that style. I’ll tell you two scenes: six main rich kids, and they are kids who went with their uncle to university. At that university, there was an artifact mentioned, created by Americans and patented by the Soviets. A portal opens, and the kids go through it. The girl was around 13 and says she wants to marry Bezel—yeah, Bezel, that doomsday clock. Why don’t I post this on the ChiknNuggit subreddit? Because I’m banned there for 180 days.

Recently I had a dream that I watched a ChiknNuggit movie with my mom, like a full-length film. If you’ve watched a Minecraft movie, it’s sort of in that style. I’ll tell you two scenes: six main rich kids, and they are kids who went with their uncle to university. At that university, there was an artifact mentioned, created by Americans and patented by the Soviets. A portal opens, and the kids go through it. The girl was around 13 and says she wants to marry Bezel—yeah, Bezel, that doomsday clock. Why don’t I post this on the ChiknNuggit subreddit? Because I’m banned there for 180 days.

Recently I had a dream that I watched a ChiknNuggit movie with my mom, like a full-length film. If you’ve watched a Minecraft movie, it’s sort of in that style. I’ll tell you two scenes: six main rich kids, and they are kids who went with their uncle to university. At that university, there was an artifact mentioned, created by Americans and patented by the Soviets. A portal opens, and the kids go through it. The girl was around 13 and says she wants to marry Bezel—yeah, Bezel, that doomsday clock. Why don’t I post this on the ChiknNuggit subreddit? Because I’m banned there for 180 days.

My name is Wozna Antonina, known online as Harumi 2012. I created this to see if there is a Bezel cult from our beloved ChiknNuggit fandom.

PASTA ABOUT ANON, COUSIN KYRA, AND THE GREAT BRIDGE WAR

Be me, anon, level 18. You've lived in Poland since birth, where dogs bark like assholes, and the biggest tourist attraction is the new frog next door. Your life is school, browsing the internet, and helping your old man with his fishing tackle. Suddenly, a stroke of luck – you get accepted on an Erasmus+ program in the USA. Your mother, packing a jar of bigos into your suitcase, pulls out an old photo: "Anon, when you're in Los Angeles, look for your aunt Grażyna's daughter, Kyra. Apparently she's drawing something online."

You land in LA. You look for this Kyra, and you think: probably some poor artist who paints portraits of tourists. You check her profile... morda.jpg. My cousin is Kyra Kupetsky, creator of "Chickn Nuggit," a huge BuzzFeed star with millions of followers. You text her, and she says, "OMG ANON! Live with me!"

You live in a luxurious loft, sleeping on a bed worth as much as your county's annual budget, but your angler genes from Poland B are taking over. You wake up at 5:00 a.m., pull out a smuggled immersion heater, and cook sausages, filling the sterile interior with the aroma of a "breakfast of champions." Kyra watches with horror, but also fascination.

On Sunday, Grandma Countess arrives—a distinguished lady in pearls who thinks everything American is "plastic for the common folk." You're sitting in a café where coffee costs $10. You do some quick math: "Kyra, that's 40 złoty! That's how much the old man buys 10 kilos of bream bait and still has money left over for beer!" Grandma just nods, pouring herself some cognac for her espresso: "The price is a matter of honor, and they don't have an ounce of honor here."

Kyra wants to talk about animation, but you interrupt her: "Kyra, listen to the real dramas." You tell her about your father and his "Great Stocking War" at the Polish Angling Association. About how he called the club president "cursed pikes" and about the sacred principle: CARP IS KING OF THE WATERS JUST AS THE LION IS KING OF THE JUNGLE. Kyra is shocked and starts sketching a carp with a crown.

You invite her on vacation to Poland. Kyra flies to you, to this gray reality. You pick her up in your old Passat B5, which smells of "forest air freshener." At a plot of land near Radom, she gets rubber boots and a "FISHER 2000" vest. He sees your old man fighting for the dock with his neighbor Mietek at 4:00 a.m. The old man pulls out a 5-kilo carp and roars, "LOOK KYRA! IT'S THE KING!"

Kyra experiences an artistic epiphany. She turns it into an episode of "Chick'n Nuggit," which goes viral. The Carp-King character with his grandmother's monocle breaks popularity records.

BACK TO SCHOOL

Erasmus ends, you go back to your school in Poland. Your friends ask, "So, Anon, have you seen the Hollywood Sign?" And you just stare out the window at the pouring rain and mutter about how Kyra just transferred you $100 "for some good bait." The old man enters the room:

"Anon, go ask your cousin if her yellow dog can predict where the corn will be sold tomorrow on sale, because I have to evict Mietek from the fishing grounds."

You just sigh. Kyra's rocking the internet in LA, and you're sitting in Poland, preparing rigs for tomorrow. Because it doesn't matter if you're in Hollywood or near Radom – there's only one hierarchy: Karp is king, and the old man is his prophet."

https://preview.redd.it/fwhznzymieah1.png?width=823&format=png&auto=webp&s=bab9db975580b08dbd931e597b0f1f233a63f807