I always seek out women in a certain way and I’m not sure how it started
I love seeing beautiful women naked and buying groceries for them. Sometimes this is sexual and sometimes it’s just sort of an intimacy I am craving that is hard to explain.
There’s like a vulnerability piece to this that is hard to put my finger on. Like the more she needs it the more I like it.
There is something really attractive to me in buying the groceries and seeing the nudity. So far, I have done this only online, but I would love to have it in person although I feel like that will stay a dream.
Here is the part that feels immoral.
If I don’t find the girl attractive, it doesn’t work for me and I’m ashamed of that part. I should just be helping people for the sake of it.
I’ve done this on and off with different women for years but right now I don’t have someone and I know on some level I probably shouldn’t need this, but I do.
Just sort of shouting this into the void. There’s no one in my life I can share it with and I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or what.