Am I (31M) Overreacting to My (33F) Girlfriend Being Lazy or do I Need to Leave?
Let me start by saying I love my girlfriend. She just gets me, she understands my neurodivergent brain, and she typically cheers me on in most situations.
One thing that has been a constant battle is my overworking and her underworking. I do about 90% of our chores. I cook, I do the dishes, I do the laundry, I fold said laundry, I do the grocery shopping, I do the vacuuming, I do the mopping, mowing, edging, I work our vegetable gardens, I do everything in our medical gardens, I wake up at 5 am and work around the house, she wakes up at 8:30 most days and barely has time to get ready for her work at 10, and I could keep going.
This has been a consistent argument but I just shut up, bottle it up, and do the work that needs done. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting though. Long story short, we were in the process of buying a house and it ended up falling through last second at fault of our lender. When talking about the situation it is communicated to me that she hadn’t even saved 1k to go into the house after I had busted ass over the past 6 months to save hard. I also did every bit of paperwork, I paid for inspections, I paid for radon etc. We also have had multiple conversations about how much she hates our apartment and how she can’t do another year here…… so I move heaven and earth, sacrifice my finances, time, and peace to make this house happen to make her happy and almost zero effort is given on her end.
This sounds silly but last night we were watching it’s always sunny and Dee says “I could never date that guy, he’s too big of a Pussy” when referring to a guy in a similar situation. Where he does everything around the house….. I know it’s always sunny is a ridiculous show about terrible people, but I honestly thought to myself “I’m tired of being the pussy” I don’t want to live like this. I’ve never had a partner that wants to take care of me, I’m always the one that comes through and carries the household weight while also running a business with 10 employees.
I love this girl, I love her family, but I don’t think I want to start a family with her to be honest. I can barely run at my current capacity and I can’t trust her to step it up when we suddenly have a kid running around.
I feel crazy, I feel like I’m at my wits end, and I just don’t know how long I can keep giving my all. I guess I’m just wondering if any of you are in / have been in similar situations and if so what you did / what you think I should do.