I can’t hide anymore, I’m just gonna do it.
After 5 years of confusion and denial but knowing deep down this is who I am, I’ve come to a point where I can’t deny myself the life I really want to live anymore. I was so scared that I would have to live in isolation after transitioning that I didn’t even realize how lonely I got in the process of denial already. I have nothing to lose anymore. With each day that passes it just becomes more evident how much I need it to be happy.
I always thought that in order to transition I would have to reach a point where there was no uncertainty or fear. But I just realized I will never be quite READY. The time will never be JUST RIGHT. I just have to bite the bullet and fucking pull through. This is a bittersweet moment for me because I have to let my old self rest while honouring the fact that I have another life to live. I don’t want to be 21 next year without having taken at least one step forward. I don’t want to be 22 the next and still be where I am today. When I imagine my life in the future, nothing looks like what it does right now.
Wish me luck! :P