u/hippiefeetxperience

Over a year ago I decided I needed to quit drinking. There were many 'excuses' for my drinking and I had many reasons to back my decision to stop. I tried to rationalize with things like "I never black out. I drink at home where I am safe. I only have 5 or 6 a night. It's not a source of financial strain. It doesn't make me do things I regret. My performance at work isn't affected. It helps take the edge off and it helps me sleep." It took me almost 2 weeks to stop freaking out, tell the anxiety to STFU and just do it. Not for anyone but me.

The first month was awful as I had roommates who had a liquor counter/cabinet with (I counted once) 117 bottles of alcohol not including mini shooters. I moved and the next 2 months were incredibly hard as well. Life was life-ing and I was having a really hard time coping. Over time it did get better and the cravings stopped as I learned real coping skills and worked hard to heal the wounds that made me want to escape.

A few months ago I noticed that something had changed. I no longer wanted anything to help me escape. I also noticed that the one craving I did have wasn't for the sensation of alcohol, it was for the taste of rosé. And last month I realized I was capable of hanging out at a bar and not wanting anything but water or maybe a coke zero. The bar did make my anxiety skyrocket and I did want to physically escape but I sat with this feeling and realized it wasn't because of the alcohol or temptation. I was overstimulated by loud music, even louder people talking over each other and the chaotic energy of those inebriated around me. And I had zero desire to join them in their inebriation.

A year ago I felt trapped in my own failures. I felt like a victim of life's cruel jokes and circumstances not of my own doing. 365 days later I feel a kind of freedom, power, no longer a victim. A year ago I was afraid that I was an addict and would be one forever. Today I don't feel as though anything has power over me and the only power someone or something could have is the power I allow it to have.

I sleep better. I've lost 55 lbs and feel healthy and beautiful. I don't wake up shaking or nauseous. I am pursuing hobbies again, dreaming of my future. I feel capable. I don't feel so afraid. My life is far from perfect, but it is much improved through the energy and work I have invested in myself and my relationships. Today I am celebrating 365 consecutive days of caring for myself, my future and my family.

I (25F) am 4 days post op. I had all 4 impacted wisdom teeth removed under IV sedation. My husband, his dad and everyone else I talked to said I'd go to sleep, wake up, be sore for a few days and be fine and eating normally day 3. That has not been my experience. For context, upper right was horizontal and growing into my 2nd molar roots, very high in my bone. Upper left diagonal, growing into second molar but not as bad. Lowers were both diagonal, deep in my jaw and very close to the nerves. Surgeon mentioned leaving roots to avoid permanent nerve damage and loss of sensation and taste in my mouth.

Day 0: I went into surgery in pain and woke up from it in even more pain, sobbing (although I think the sobbing was from anesthesia more than the pain). I struggled to swallow which made eating or drinking or taking pain meds difficult.

Day 1: still a little numb in my mouth, more pain but it was manageable with meds.

Day 2-3: stiffness and swelling was insane, I looked like Quagmire from Family Guy. The prescription pain meds, Tylenol and ibuprofen took the edge off but at no point was I pain free. Sleeping was difficult, though I napped as often as I could. Swallowing was easier so I stuck with soft foods and plenty of liquids. My jaw would hurt from moving it so I'd have to take breaks, eating took 5 times longer than normal.

Day 4: I had planned to work today since I was expecting to feel 'normal' after day 3 but I decided to take an extra day. Swelling is improving but the bruising is insane. My jaw and face feels much more tender. The pain is different, not as much socket pain but significantly more facial/jaw aches and pains. My right side is worse, likely because of the horizontal impaction. The neighboring molars are also very angry.

I have a higher pain tolerance and I thought I'd bounce back from this no problem, but this has been a really humbling experience. I feel like I'm weak compared to the others who told me it would be a breeze, and maybe worried that it indicates a complication. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance. This sucks. I miss food. And after a month of extreme pain from the problems the wisdom teeth were causing, pushing against roots of other molars, infections in my gums, etc while I waited for the surgery date I guess I was hoping for some signs that the end is near. I'm feeling a bit discouraged right now, any advice would be appreciated 🙏