How do you just accept and support your child getting pregnant/making bad choices?
I just cannot find a way to accept and understand her and it may be because of our religious background but I also see other mothers be able to move on and reconcile so I’m hoping maybe some of you can give me a new outlook or help me understand? My daughter is 16. She has always been my whole world and meant everything to me and my husband. We have three children but I’ve always had stronger and closer bond with my eldest. While we are very religious and came to Canada with the idea of keeping our religious beliefs and traditions we have given her some leeway as well with allowing her a phone, to go to public school, play sports and have friendships. Our only rule and concern has always solely been around boys. No boys and no boyfriends. I was married young and while we are very happy my daughter is very smart and has high prospects and we do not want a life of bad choices for her because of getting involved with problem boys. My husband is very supportive of this as well with our daughters. However my daughter clearly has not respected this. We found out kind of when she was in eighth grade and her friend spilled to me by accident that she had been lying about what she was wearing at school and changing into other outfits during the school days and then changing back before home. We didn’t know though this was because of a boy. Then she started leaving school grounds at lunch without permission. We again assumed she was just doing this to impress her friends. We did not know about this boy until the end of the school year in eighth grade, but she assured me they were going to different high schools. We were unhappy but tried to keep it to ourselves.
The next year we found out she had been having sex with this boy and disciplined her appropriately. However she got empowered by his bad influence and claimed we were abusing her and ran away with threats to report us and obviously went with him. We have had little to know contact in the last year due to this because anytime we have reached out she continues to stand by his side. She is not doing well in school anymore and I’m concerned.
About her future. Now, a year after she has left us, I find out from mutual friends family that she is pregnant and they are planning to keep the baby. I’ve reached out and expressed my disappointment and she had no interest in hearing me out. She is so fooled by this terrible boy and his family. I don’t know how to save her.