I want to be prepared, not just positive
tonight I'm frustrated. I am young, dxed at 31, mid ACT right now (gnarly gnarly gnarly but doable).
I don't want to hear my odds of living 5-10 years anymore. I'll be 40. that's still sad news to hear my survival at 40 is suddenly in question. I have been living as if I have more time. I've been responsibly saving for retirement! what do I do with that money? do I keep saving? do I withdraw it and buy a freaking house? I could still reach that age, but between recurrence and side effects of all the treatments, I know the likelihood is reduced - but I can't find out how much!!!
how am I supposed to plan? how am I supposed to live my life purposefully if I don't know how long I really have? I don't want to hope for the best, I want to do what makes sense. I don't know how to realistically plan my life at this age
ugh