Single friend added cousin as her plus 1
I became close with a girl over the last two years who I’ve really enjoyed as a human. I invited her to my wedding because I sort of met her during my engagement era, and I figured why not. She’s smart and a great person and we have fun together. We’re not besties, but I figured let me extend an invite.
My rsvp deadline was today, and I never received hers, so I texted her. She took the whole day to respond, and finally said ‘thanks for the reminder, submitted’.
I go on my merry way until tonight when I check my website and see she rsvped for herself and a random name. I text her and say ‘hey thanks for submitting! Is X your new boyfriend?!’
She told me it’s her cousin, who is a girl.
While I’m not opposed to bringing a friend, it just feels a bit off?
- She didn’t rsvp until I had to reminder her on the deadline (most friends get excited and will rsvp right away)
- She is not in a relationship so she didn’t get a plus 1
- Assumed she could bring someone who I have never met without asking first? She said she asked, but there’s nothing in our texts about her asking…unless I blacked out while we were together one day? But I’m 99% sure she didn’t ask to bring someone. And typically it would be a partner or bf
I ended up saying that our space is limited and I’m happy for her to bring a guest if it’s a partner, but a random family member? She waited to the last minute and didn’t even ask…I told her there’s no pressure and she shouldn’t feel obligated to come if she doesn’t feel comfortable coming alone. She said she wouldn’t know anyone so that’s why she rsvped for her cousin.
She’s not comfortable coming, so she’s going to decline. It’s all good and there was no hostility, I just felt it was sort of odd.
I wish people had the courage to just say ‘can’t make it’ if they didn’t want to come. I think sometimes people don’t know how to say no. But I’m such a chill girl, like I don’t care either way, just let me know. Also, at 35, I would go alone! I have other single friends coming and in my opinion, bringing a friend at that age feels sorta weird.