u/honeydewdrop1125

I feel like everywhere I go, I’m confronted with the insanely awkward and uncomfortable question of, “Do you believe in God?” I’ve tried faking it to make the conversation more pleasant, but I can only fake it for so long. I genuinely cannot stand the Christian lingo or the way people sometimes talk when they’re talking about their faith, and I feel so uncomfortable pretending that I relate to it when I really don’t.

I wasn’t raised religious, but growing up I actually wanted to go to church with my friends and go to church camps during the summer because I wanted to hang out with them. Putting up with the religious stuff just felt like part of the trade-off. I genuinely tried to get into it, too, but I could never actually believe what they were telling me. Eventually I realized that I’m completely comfortable and happy not having religion in my life. Maybe that will change someday, but honestly, I highly doubt it.

My main point is that I feel like I cannot escape it. My parents, who used to be avid atheists, are now leaning more toward religion, and I have other family members who pressure me about my beliefs. And now I’ve started a new job where I’d really like to make a friend or two, only to realize that they are ALL extremely Christian and bring it up in almost every conversation.

I don’t want to be rude or disrespect anyone’s beliefs, but how do I tell them that I don’t believe in God and would really rather not participate in anything religious without making things awkward? I don’t want to be invited to church, Bible studies, prayer groups, etc. I’m happy to hear that it’s important to them, but I don’t want to be involved myself.

I just want some normal, friends who I can hang out with without religion being a recurring topic of conversation. UGH.

How do I politely set that boundary without completely isolating myself at my new job?

Does anyone know of any large companies in the Austin area that are hiring for entry-level positions right now? I know this might be a dumb question, but I’ve searched Indeed, LinkedIn, ZipRecruiter, and just about every other job board, and I keep seeing the same postings over and over.

I’m just trying to land my first full-time job out of college, and it’s been so much harder than I ever expected. I also don’t have many professional connections here in Austin yet, so I figured I’d see if anyone knows of companies that are actively hiring or has any recommendations. I’d really appreciate any advice!

I’m F(23), and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years, although three of those years were long distance. We recently moved to a new city together, and he quickly got a job and built a huge friend group through work. Meanwhile, I’ve been struggling to find a full-time job, and the retail jobs I’ve had so far haven’t led to any close friendships.

Naturally, he’s invited me to hang out with his work friends. It’s a good mix of guys and girls, but the girls already seem to have an established clique and don’t seem especially interested in getting to know me. They all have things in common to talk about work, theater, sports, etc. and I’ve never really felt like they’ve gone out of their way to ask me about myself. They also all hangout outside of the main group and have never tried to invite me. Most of the time, I just feel like “the girlfriend.”

I should also mention that I’m definitely more of an introvert and have some social anxiety, which definitely doesn’t help. I often want to join conversations, but by the time I find an opening, the topic has already moved on. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is a total social butterfly. He can talk to anyone and everyone, which often leaves me standing by myself feeling invisible. Because of this, I’ve declined a lot of group outings over the past year. Recently, though, I’ve been making more of an effort to go because I’ve been living here for a year and still don’t have any solid friendships. Unfortunately, nothing has really changed.

I’ve talked to my boyfriend about how I feel, and his response is usually that it’s my responsibility to insert myself into conversations and take up more space. While I understand that to some extent, it’s easier said than done when I don’t feel like I have much in common with anyone in the group. He usually gets frustrated when we talk about it, and the conversation goes nowhere.

I know I’m not completely blameless here, and I realize my anxiety is probably part of the problem. But I also can’t help feeling lonely and disconnected. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you make friends or find your place when your partner already had an established social circle and you felt like an outsider?