Feeling Hurt
About two months ago I gave birth to my daughter sleeping at 39+4. Since she died, both my family and my husband's family have repeatedly told us that they will always talk about our daughter (their granddaughter).
Well, my went out for ice cream tonight and my in-laws ran into someone they knew. While waiting in line and having casual conversation, my in-laws were asked if they have any grandchildren and how many... my father-in-law responded, "We have two."
And my heart immediately sank because he has three grandchildren- two of them living.
I understand how uncomfortable it may be to answer that question and how it may be considered "weird" to count a grandchild that's dead.
But fuck. Just fucking acknowledge my daughter, too. Some people might ask how old the grandchildren are and some might not. I frankly don't care that it might be uncomfortable to have to tell someone that one of those grandchildren was born still. My daughter matters too and we shouldn't have to hide that she existed.
I know my father-in-law had no bad intentions and he likely didn't want to have to possibly explain my daughter's stillbirth. And at the same time, please just acknowledge her. Please still count her as one of your grandchildren. Please still say her name if people ask.
I don't want my daughter to be a secret.