u/hopefulbenjii

in my mind i have this idea of good and bad, with myself being a nice, kind hearted person, i really really like those similar to me, and hate, rlly hate those who are bad. Obnoxious ppl out in public, evil people with bad souls, those who want to cause trouble in your life and cause harm; daily i have extensive thoughts on killing those i know that are "bad" to me, the main person being my ex girlfriend. It doesn't take much at all to set me off, a stranger looking at me weirdly, people making too much noise, drunk people, people judging you from afar, i just wish i can kill them all, get rid of them all consequenceless. I need to know how to get rid of these thoughts as i have no other coping mechanism other than hurting myself, and want to get rid of these thoughts before i actually go through w my plans, and then get rid of myself after carrying them out.

recently my angers gotten out of control and im worried 4 myself and what im going to do given the right situation. Ive seen it developing for about a year, going from hitting myself w my ex then to actually hurting ymself due to how i feel. In most social situations literally anything can set me off, people looking at me, how others act around me, etc. I've had many thoughts of killing people i dont like and in social situations these thoughts occur when i feel uncomfortable or judged. I dont know exactly how to get my anger out, and im worried im gonna do something i regret because its not the best keeping smth like this bottled up for a prolonged period of time. May invest in a boxing bag however as have been reccomended it, however i find it a lil cringey, might b the only option at this point.

any advice would be appreciated :p