u/hornyspiritualist

Namaskaram, people of this sub 🙏

Hear me out. I'm a migrant in Hyderabad, an introvert by birth and by choice, and somewhere along the way my friend circle shrunk down(thanks to UPSC prep) to me, myself and I. Life happens.

But you know what hasn't left me? The deep craving for shaadi ka khana.

Now before you scroll away — yes, I'm vegetarian. By choice. I know, I know. A vegetarian asking to be invited to Hyderabadi shaadis sounds like a vegan asking to be invited to a barbecue competition. But hear me out — Hyderabadi shaadi vegetarian spreads are SECRETLY ELITE and the world doesn't talk about it enough.

I'm talking about:

Veg dum biryani that the cooks make like a side quest but somehow nail every single time

Mirchi ka salan with the veg biryani — life-changing combo, I will fight anyone who disagrees

Bagara baingan that tastes like the brinjal had a personality transplant

Paneer tikka from the live counter, where the chicha grills with the focus of a brain surgeon

Live dosa, chaat, and pasta counters (yes, the pasta counter is random but I respect it)

Double ka meetha and qubani ka meetha

Paan or two at the end including another one I’d sneak into my paper napkin

So here's my pitch:

Invite me to your shaadi. Cousin's wedding, neighbour's reception, your colleague's sister's mehendi, the guy you went to school with in 4th standard at Little Flower — I am NOT picky. Old City, Banjara Hills, Kompally, LB Nagar, Shamshabad — I will travel. I have an Uber app, Metro pass and unmatched determination.

What I bring to the table:

Shagun, definitely. I will not show up empty handed. My mother raised me better than that.

I will smile politely at every aunty who asks why I'm not married yet, and at every uncle who asks "babu, em chestunnav?"

I will take photos for relatives who don't know how to use the camera

I will dance badly but with full enthusiasm during the baraat / sangeet

I will not get drunk and start a fight with your mamaya

I will compliment your mom's saree at least three times and mean it

I will say "chala bagundi" at appropriate moments even if I have no idea what just happened

What I will NOT do:

Eat more than 4 plates of veg biryani (okay, 5, final offer)

Touch the non-veg counter, so more for your other guests — you're welcome

Hit on the bridesmaids

Ask awkward questions about anything

Steal the centerpieces (probably)

Be the guy who fights at the buffet line

I'm a stranger today, but by the end of the night I'll be that random guest in the group photo your kids will point at in 20 years and ask "ee abbai evaru?" And you'll smile and say "honestly ra, naaku teliyadu. But that man ate veg biryani like it owed him money."

DM me. Any area in Hyderabad works. Stomach: very flexible. Heart: surprisingly available for human connection.

Sincerely, A vegetarian man who just wants some bagara baingan, veg biryani, and a few hours of not eating dinner alone 😔

Disclaimer: I did use AI, finely prompted it, and made a few necessary edits 🥲