SIL from 7th circle of hell
I need advice. Serious advice. My DH is the youngest of four and was born much later than the rest of his siblings. He has two sisters who have a genetic disorder so they have no legal capacity, mental ages of probably 6-7 year olds. The eldest sister, call her Janet, rules the roost. MIL is in a nursing home with very advanced dementia. FIL passed away in May. Janet moved all four of my in-laws into a house they purchased together about 6 years ago so she could spend more time with her mom. I recently found out through FIL’s death that she put the house title 50% in her name, 12.5% in FIL, 12.5% MIL, 12.5% SIL 1 and 12.5% SIL 2. My in-laws paid 48%, she paid 42% and two SILS combined 10%. Janet and her mom took money from the two SILS accounts because they could and did it all the time. SILs have no legal capacity to sign anything so I don’t even know how their name was put in the title but now Janet wants to remove their names and take their shares. Also found out she has stolen $45K from in-laws to give to her own adult children and $210K from in-laws to build a 2 bedroom flat off the side of the house. No written agreement with her parents to use their money this way. My DH doesn’t know any of this yet but because he is co-executor with her, he’s asked me to get all the paperwork together for my FIL’s will etc.
Janet has been treating her DIL (Sonja) like shit so Sonja came to me to tell me what’s been happening. Before my in-laws were put in a nursing home, Janet was locking them in their bedrooms so they couldn’t go anywhere and get in her way when she wanted a break or when they went to bed at night. Left them in adult diapers because she couldn’t be bothered changing them more than once per day, stole money, abused them etc. My DH and I live in another state so we weren’t aware of any of this. Janet is manipulative, a narcissist and hates anyone that she can’t control. My DH lacks a spine when it comes to Janet but he has power of attorney (POA), a copy of his father’s will and death certificate so I want him to go to the bank, get access to the accounts and see what’s been going on. He needs to review the estate as the Executor. I want him to get what he is legally entitled to and to show him what his sister really is. He doesn’t know any of this yet and I don’t know how to tell him. Have you been in this circumstance before? How do you tell your DH that his sister is a lying elder abusing thief? I feel sick.