u/hungrrry_11

Sadly, my maternity leave is over and I’m going back to work on Monday. I posted in here previously about my anxiety regarding the best available daycare in the area having a 6:1 ratio, and after reading some of the comments, I decided to hire a nanny instead. She will be with us 3 days a week and I’m hoping my husband will be able to stay home the other two days per week while I work. If not, I’ll sell stuff or do whatever I can to pay for five days per week until my baby is a little older.

But I’m still running into the problem where my 12 week old baby only settles for me. She cries bloody murder with dad, and she’s going to do the same for the nanny. How do I get her used to me suddenly being gone all day? How can we help her learn that other people are safe and how to be soothed by others? :( I am still so afraid I’m going to give her abandonment issues. This is on top of the anxiety I already have about the fact that despite us background checking the nanny she is still a complete stranger to me and i just have so much fear about leaving my daughter with a stranger. But at the end of the day I really want to make this transition as easy as possible for her :(

My paid maternity leave is ending in two weeks, and my baby will be 12 weeks old when she starts daycare :( she is in the phase where she really only settles and calms down with me. Even with my husband she will scream and cry until she gets back in my arms.

Am I going to give her attachment or abandonment issues by sending her to daycare? My state has a 6:1 ratio and I haven’t been able to find a reputable center with a smaller ratio than that. I’m terrified they’re going to have no choice but to let her cry it out while tending to other babies. Is this going to be damaging for her psychologically to be left to cry it out? Is she going to think I abandoned her if no one else can settle or calm her while at daycare?