How did you stop freezing during confrontations? (FTM)
I’m an FTM, about one year on testosterone and one year post top surgery. I’m around average height (mid-160 cm range).
Most of the time I pass as male, but I still find myself freezing in situations where other men act aggressively.
For example, sometimes people intentionally bump into me, yell at me to move even when there’s plenty of space, or try to intimidate me for no reason.
Today I went to a park to relax. I was quietly watching a stray cat when an older man walked over and tried to kick it. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn’t bring myself to confront him. Afterwards I felt frustrated with myself.
This kind of thing has happened more than once.
Part of me feels like, if I’m going to live as a man, I should be able to stand my ground and protect my girlfriend if something ever happened. But the reality is that I still hesitate when faced with aggressive people.
Has anyone else—FTM or cis—gone through this?
How did you build the confidence to handle confrontation without being reckless? Did martial arts, strength training, therapy, or simply life experience make the biggest difference?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who used to freeze in these situations but eventually learned how to deal with them.