u/iPikachooChooseYou

Used to love playing video games, drawing, reading ect. but now I think “what’s the point?” when I no longer feel satisfied with anything I do and every little mistake or detail I miss makes me feel like the thing is “tainted” and requires a reset.

I feel as though everything must be perfect and I must absorb every detail, and it’s so stressful I don’t even enjoy what I’m doing anymore. Can’t even trust myself to get through a movie or tv show because I might miss a line of dialogue or look away from the screen at the wrong time.

One of the biggest ways OCD manifests itself for me is when playing video games. I have the overwhelming urge to restart a video game because I died, or made a mistake. I know logically it doesn’t matter if I make a mistake, we all make mistakes and it’s part of learning. But convincing my brain of that is not so easy.

The nagging feeling that I need to restart follows me throughout my playthrough, and ruins the experience. I’ve restarted games a stupid amount of times, and even go so far as deleting save data to start fresh.

I’d like to be able to enjoy my hobby again. Anyone else deal with this? How do you cope?

There is so much stuff I wanted/needed to do tonight. But instead I’m sitting here too afraid to do anything because it will trigger my symptoms. I have perfectionism, and if I don’t do things the right way it causes me a great deal of anxiety. I often check things over and over again. Objects need to line up perfectly. I delete stuff from my computer way too often because files and folders feel tainted. When I throw trash out I have the strong nagging feeling I accidentally got rid of something important. This condition seeps into every aspect of my life it seems. I don’t get much joy out of anything anymore.

It’s getting late and I really wanted to get some stuff done tonight, but I feel like I can’t muster the courage or motivation on my own.

Please help