I hope this post is allowed. Is anyone aware of an online group focused on sex or porn addiction for accountability? I'd like something that can better help hold me accountable
Sorry if this post seems like a rant, I don't know what else to do. I'm 38 M and I've been addicted to porn and sexting since my early twenties, when i first felt like i had an issue anyway. I finally went to therapy 3 years ago for help after years of continuous failed attempts. I continue to fail. I can't even get through the morning on the weekends. I just want a relaxing morning to read or play video games, then work on house projects or go for a long hike. But before i know it I'm relapsing, and 6 hours later I'm right back to where i started. I've been single for the majority of my adulthood as well, and i know this addiction zaps any energy i have from finding and developing a real connection with anyone.
My therapist says it's normal to relapse, even going through years of therapy. Is that true? What finally worked for you?
I've been going to therapy for 3 years now. For the first 3 months I had a therapist I really liked. She had to leave though and I got paired with a new therapist. One of the reasons I started therapy is because I've had a porn/sex addiction for most of my adult life (I'm 38 now). I started therapy after my last relationship ended, which is the longest I've been in and it was only a year and a half. I'll spend hours at a time watching porn. It consumes so my of my time and it absolutely affects my ability to maintain healthy relationships.
Anyway, that's the context. I'm reaching out because I feel like I haven't made any progress in that time. I still struggle to go longer than a week without it. I just feel like I'm making no progress, and every 2 weeks I go in to talk about the same thing over and over again. "I relapsed again, it feels like everything is a trigger", "oh no, what happened?" And it's the same thing every single time.
I've brought this up to him, about my concerns that I'm not making any progress, and that I'm not where I want to be. But he always tells me he things I've made a lot of progress. I just don't see it. And he also says addiction relapse is completely normal, even if it keeps happening over and over again.
Is he correct? Is what I'm experiencing normal? It just doesn't feel right.