can't even work a job anymore
i've had a really slow decline in life. and up to here it's probably been. at it's worst.
(M23 167.2 LBS 5'6)
dunno when it all started but it was certainly around.. four years ago when i found out i had fatty liver..
i was tubby and big and had a really bad diet my whole life. and if anything i kinda just ate anything i wanted.. towards HS. i started feeling less hungry.. ate less and had a LOT. of weird stuff happening to me.. (nt all of it could have been the liver or my body) but just.. weird stuff in gen..
i've always had physical issues with working, and even just standing long hours at jobs. my first one.. i remember was at chipotle,, in 2022. was a dishwasher and i remember after my first shift my body was shaking so terribly and i was trembling. couldn't even open my hands and i was hurting so badly.. the pain was the worst i think i've ever felt. fast foreward. after seemingly every test (except a biopsy). and being aware of it.. losing the fat. working out, improving my diet. and being mindful of it ever since 22'. even letting myself loose a bit with back to bad eating and even bulking.. and wanting to gain muscle well.. (protein powder etc).
working a stupidly tough job at ups.. i. which i did a full peak for happily..
just this beginning of the year, when i working my typical seasonal. i started to notice a decline in my muscles.. and my muscle capacity in one area.. my arm.. and because of that. it wasn't getting better, even with rest. i fell out of a job because of it and was heartbroken,, went to another job and started noticing other weird signs.. appetite, strange backpain that was super heavy on me and interrupted sleep times.. lotta weird stuff.. and i think it was after a workout. and the day after after coming home from work i just.. kinda felt it happen. come out of me, anxiety that was seemingly coming out of nowhere..
it kinda felt like a ghost of the past.. a ghost of being encumbered to my bed.. bed ridden for practically months on end with a dtysfunctioning body.. 4 years prior..
it settled in and.. wasn't getting better.
that week i had already seen my doctor reporting something else weirdly enough and that was, about some super weird headaches and having trouble with my memory.. and sleep in general.. but mostly about the memory thing.
fast foreword and few weeks later. i fell out of that job and i had MANY. symptoms of weird stuff.. throating closing. being barely able to breathe.. stomach hating anything i ate.. being nauseous around the clock.. i mean 24/7 and shredding off weight/muscle.. practically starting to see my bones.. couldn't really function.. but also i.. was having like.. personality problems with my emotions, i was snapping so easily at people. my focus was awful, my vision was getting worse, and for the first time in my life i had take eyedrops.. because of the dryness in what seemed like almost my entire body. i've been tied practically to water and the constant need for it but again.. all of that stuff i endured four years prior which.. i originally was so worried it was my heart. didn't ever end up on finding what it was
it continued and i finally saw my hepto again, did a buncha tests.. noting high bilirubin and even with the lil.. blood test thingy noticing that there was no fat (hooray) but that the liver was injured.. didn't know why. (im really not sure why this test exits if it's accuracy isn't good and can't be trusted) but.. in another section.. due to the sudden constant issue with bloating.. gas and gurlging and even pain in my stomach. did a three way sibo imo.. something test.
found out i was methane dominant.
so i don't rly know what to do with it but maybe also has anyone.. or know anything abt sibo potentially worsening liver issues..?
to put it short.
the conclusion i came too is that.. well four years i was practically od'ing on painkillers for work for a few months and questioned why i was so tired all of the time.. and feeling disgusting.. had a huge freak out mental episode and called the paramedics when i convinced myself i was dead and this was the after life after drinking just a tiny bit and having some edibles (irls stopped to me all tg :(
i had to take abt a full year to get off of.. whatever happened to me. which i never did find out what it was but i had those symptoms.
the second time overworked myself and body at the gym.. having a terrible diet. bulking, and sleeping terribly i had that numbness and pain in my arms and muscles instead of soreness and that lost me about six months of my life and tried to recover again.
and with all of that in mind i tried working at chipotle (prep grill.. i GOTTA give it to those people that do that. that pos is TOUGH.)
keeping myself steady and not expected two weeks in. to waking up to my arm being completely numb and in pain. and even with a weeks work of time off is causing this. being the third time. and even after my arms started feeling better this whole idea of.. damage happens elsewhere. damage happens to my liver. i feel it a month later and it just totals me.
and just now.. aug 18th at 2:39pm.. after one day of working a four hour shift at jersey mikes. i am in disarray. my whole body. hurts. and my arms and even now my legs are numb.. and i'm afraid i'm.. still not fully recovered frm the damage chipotle did to me or whatever the hells happening to me and that.. just lingering on the fear it's getting worse
i don't know what to do. for a week straight. unlike a few months ago i was having terrible. neck vein pain.. as i could describe and well.. it felt like wires directing being pulled on my throat.
either way.. summing up four years (which for two of them i can proudly say i had no issues like this going on at all..) has..
come to be not being able to hold a job. in short i can barely do anything physically. i don't get sore and it's.. been practically the same shit minus just being.. contempt with it.
i don't feel like myself.. my hands. my arms hurt so much.. got the memory of a goldfish, finding myself fucking up my words when i speak to people or even forgetting what i was doing mid. action. surely it's not that.. that bad but i remember (surprisingly) just a few months ago i was forgetting my friends real.. names. which i knew, and funnily enough forgetting again.. my god it's so hard to focus on stuff and things. and the ONE. thing that has been impacted the most has to be multi-tasking. simply even.. playing video games and using my arms just.. let alone hurts.. i am defeated.. and tired. i started worrying about my issues again cause just a few weeks ago my biggest concern was itching.. itching in my hands and feet that still seem to nag on me and was growing.
no i wasn't a heavy drinker, yea i'm young, yes but i was obese from practically me entire childhood. ignoring gerd. stomach acid, and well.. i mean
and i don't know my family history if they have issues or ANY. issues for that matter due to me being adopted..
theres still so much more i'd.. happily like to say or just. yeah i don't even know. i'm just lost. im lost,, id be more than happy to answer anything if anyone see's this,, my scores for tests.. on bloodwork, living stuff. anything,, if anyone see's
. or maybe even unfortunately getting automodded for it being a useless rambling dob story.. which. IM SORRY. as someone who is losing there capability to function and well.. talk speak live feel a bit it's.. scaring me.
thanks,
shiba