▲ 3 r/poets

These are some lyrics for my song I’m working on and I tried using some poetry on it, can I get some feedback on it

Loving, in actuality, is just a reasoning for our living, but still, something must have gotten in us because all of us turned into sinners.

Living in a world where a person’s mentality is just to pursue the gaining, and the essence of death is visualized upon many lives every morning. Celebrating because my body survived itself for one more day.

I see people fulfilling temporary desires. Unknowingly, they are blinded, and that can bring them to hell crying.

And when I look at that, I say plainly:

It feels like only 5,000 out of 8 billion will make it back holy.

5,000 out of 8 billion will make it back holy.

5,000 out of 8 billion will make it back holy.

I ain’t no saint, and my life is not a tent, but for my resurrection, I will look back on the things I didn’t pay attention to, and it will become a mansion.

The wise know they are foolish, and most nowadays say they lack foolishness.

We went from only three acts of laziness to whole entire nations, walking diseases who say they’re doing it because they love it, but really just want the money and sex side of it, giving the art a bad name in society.

And I can see both sides of the hallway. One side is more full than the other in the modern day.

We give power to people who don’t seek refinement.

On June 28th, 1982, another 78 was added to this world full of hate.

He seeked the gaze of his Creator, but the sucker was astray.

His reasoning was the devilish nature of temptation.

He lived in a place where poverty and mass extinction felt like even the angels felt apprehension.

And his mother couldn’t help it and fell into addiction.

You can already see the dysfunction, but he was still yet to fall into illusion.

His innocence went away because in adolescence, the devil bussed him with foolishness.

Mother still living with no faithfulness.

He didn’t want to live in poverty for generations, so he started trapping to fulfill his family’s assence 

And that led him to individuals where life is of small worthness.

And those who were illusionary would put him into a boat of robbery and slaughtery.

One day he looked out the transparent opening, he said why is this my state of living, but he was left in a state of unknowing.

Then his phone started ringing.

“Yo, we gonna hit up the spot over at Forest Hill with the crew, and I bet you coming too.”

After a rhetorical hesitation, he picked the terrible mansion.

So young driving didn’t meet migration

So they were delivered to the bus station

Then he conversed with a fool who met migration

He said,

“Do you consider yourself a wise creation?”

The answer said,

“Wisdom is a part of my reiteration.” 

Then the beside framing let down with disconsolatiom

And he asked with confusion 

Why do you feel so much disappointation 

Because the hydrated know that is bad to see consolation 

On things that are filled with illusion ….illusion….illusion….illusion 

As they get out the bus station and went for the planned location. Work in progress….

reddit.com
u/idontknow123456891 — 23 days ago
▲ 1 r/MusicFeedback+1 crossposts

I need some feedback on these lyrics I made, btw they are very poetic and full of metaphors so just ask me what’s something your confused on.

Loving, in actuality, is just a reasoning for our living, but still, something must have gotten in us because all of us turned into sinners.

Living in a world where a person’s mentality is just to pursue the gaining, and the essence of death is visualized upon many lives every morning. Celebrating because my body survived itself for one more day.

I see people fulfilling temporary desires. Unknowingly, they are blinded, and that can bring them to hell crying.

And when I look at that, I say plainly:

It feels like only 5,000 out of 8 billion will make it back holy.

5,000 out of 8 billion will make it back holy.

5,000 out of 8 billion will make it back holy.

I ain’t no saint, and my life is not a tent, but for my resurrection, I will look back on the things I didn’t pay attention to, and it will become a mansion.

The wise know they are foolish, and most nowadays say they lack foolishness.

We went from only three acts of laziness to whole entire nations, walking diseases who say they’re doing it because they love it, but really just want the money and sex side of it, giving the art a bad name in society.

And I can see both sides of the hallway. One side is more full than the other in the modern day.

We give power to people who don’t seek refinement.

On June 28th, 1982, another 78 was added to this world full of hate.

He seeked the gaze of his Creator, but the sucker was astray.

His reasoning was the devilish nature of temptation.

He lived in a place where poverty and mass extinction felt like even the angels felt apprehension.

And his mother couldn’t help it and fell into addiction.

You can already see the dysfunction, but he was still yet to fall into illusion.

His innocence went away because in adolescence, the devil bussed him with foolishness.

Mother still living with no faithfulness.

He didn’t want to live in poverty for generations, so he started trapping to fulfill his family’s assence

And that led him to individuals where life is of small worthness.

And those who were illusionary would put him into a boat of robbery and slaughtery.

One day he looked out the transparent opening, he said why is this my state of living, but he was left in a state of unknowing.

Then his phone started ringing.

“Yo, we gonna hit up the spot over at Forest Hill with the crew, and I bet you coming too.”

After a rhetorical hesitation, he picked the terrible mansion.

So young driving didn’t meet migration

So they were delivered to the bus station

Then he conversed with a fool who met migration

He said,

“Do you consider yourself a wise creation?”

The answer said,

“Wisdom is a part of my reiteration.”

Then the beside framing let down with disconsolatiom

And he asked with confusion

Why do you feel so much disappointation

Because the hydrated know that is bad to see consolation

On things that are filled with illusion ….illusion….illusion….illusion

As they get out the bus station and went for the planned location. Work in progress….

reddit.com
u/idontknow123456891 — 28 days ago