I know it's long but helpp
Hi, I'm Mal. I've been interested in witchcraft and paganism since I was 12, and now that I'm 18 I've been seriously practicing and reading tarot for about a year and a half. It's been difficult because my family is Catholic and doesn't support witchcraft.
Last April, I saw a girl at school (I'll call her Victoria) and decided I wanted to finally do something instead of just admiring someone from afar. I'd struggled with accepting my sexuality for years after my mom found out I was a lesbian and sent me to a psychologist because she believed it was wrong. I eventually became much more comfortable with myself (even though I'm still struggling with my self-esteem, sexuality and body), so seeing Victoria felt like the moment I was finally ready to experience my first real romance.
At first, we only exchanged glances. Eventually I found out she was my classmate Julie's sister, found her Instagram, and learned a bit about her. I asked my tarot deck about her several times, and the readings were consistently positive. They suggested we had strong potential, but also warned that she was shy, insecure, emotionally unstable, and unlikely to make the first move.
My friend Jamie found out I liked her and ended up talking to one of her friends, who turned out to be Victoria's best friend. After that, Victoria and I started greeting each other at school and even played volleyball together during P.E.
The problem was that Victoria kept giving me mixed signals. She told her friends she wanted me to send her an Instagram request, but whenever I did she ignored or rejected it. She rarely greeted me first, but she constantly stared at me or walked past me as if she wanted me to notice her.
By the last day of school I was exhausted and ignored her completely. Later, a friend told me that Julie had spoken to her and told her she didn't want me talking to her because Victoria had told her everything and felt uncomfortable. I assumed that was the end of it.
During the summer I met another girl online, but it didn't work out because the effort was very one-sided.
When the new school year started, things with Victoria seemed to begin again, although communication felt blocked because of what had happened with Julie. She smiled and blushed when she saw me, her friends whispered about us, and she kept looking at me and walking past me. My tarot readings suggested she had started developing feelings for me, regretted telling her sister, and regretted never making a move.
Eventually I cast a sweetening spell after asking my deck if it would help. The cards said it would work, but not in the way I expected, and that I already had a strong chance of attracting her without magic. A few weeks later I asked about the results, and the readings said the spell had strengthened her feelings and made her idealize me more, but that nothing progressed because she was still too shy and afraid of rejection to make the first move.
That's basically where things stand now. The staring and tension have only intensified, but nothing actually happens. I've been thinking about making an offering to Freyja, since I've recently been drawn to Norse paganism, or maybe doing a simple spell to encourage communication instead of attraction.
What would y'all recommend?