It's my turn...
I tried this earlier, but it kept stretching into a saga as I was figuring out what I was going to write. I discovered this sub about 7 years ago when I was researching. I was 4 years in to my relationship. My search for answers started when I was alone in my backyard with her stepmother and I said I was tired of being treated like shit. She looked at me like I was simple and she said- "She's fucking bipolar. Her dad's bipolar. Her sister's bipolar..."
I know now that when we met she was hypomanic. The hyper sexuality was the invitation and the hook. In addition to the amazing sex, she was smart, thoughtful, and a fierce guardian of her pets. This lasted 9 months. There were a couple slips (3) along the way. Irrational anger and attacks, but she would apologize and drag me to the bedroom. They lasted a couple hours. Then she got pregnant. Up until this point I ignored all the red flags, or chose not to see them. At the drop of a hat we were on a 4 days of anger and attacks (still followed by make up sex) that then led to 4 days of uneasy peace. She was having my child, so I stuck around thinking I was supporting her through a tough time. Once she gave birth the real insanity started. The 4 days of peace remained the same but the duration of the aggression changed. 4-5-6-8 days of constant all day long criticism. I was just a useless freeloading piece of shit that didn't do anything ever.
Then she settled in to her baseline which was depressive. We rocked on raising our son through ups and downs. I was there to support her. That was my codependent role. Once a month I had to become the biggest piece of shit on the planet. For 1-3 days. The sex dried up almost entirely, and when we did have it she was only occasionally an enthusiastic participant. Meanwhile, as I suffer this in silence, she's vilifying me to everyone. Just setting the stage because she's always known she was going to destroy. She barely made an attempt to medicate and went to a therapist one time.
I allowed myself to slip into the role I was playing and I justified it because at the end of the day I got to kiss my son goodnight. I became a shell of who I was. I allowed this to happen. Anyway, after being this woman's support animal for more than ten years she sat down on the couch Sunday and told me she didn't spend Saturday night at her mom's, she had in fact brought my son to a dude's house, tucked my kid in on a blow up mattress, and went and fucked the dude. Then she went on to describe what was happening like it was a fairy tale until I stopped her.
She did me a favor honestly. But now I've got to rush to get out before she crashes. I can't wait to hear how it's all my fault.