i need guidance
hey so truthfully speaking, I’m not a wife. I am just someone who’s been in a committed (over a year) relationship to a guy who joined the marines early on in our relationship.
we have had our battles like the distance, and lack of communication, the whole nine yards. the biggest problem i had with the whole thing was him constantly making decisions that excluded me. like he chose for his duty station to be in Japan, after i asked him to consider closer options so it would be more realistic that i could visit. he’s too young to drink, but he still chose to indulge…you get the idea. well, everything had been what the new normal had become till last night when he told me he was drugged and more than likely had kissed another woman who he suspects was the one who drugged him. his words were ‘the chick feeling up on me’. he also says that he was not drunk, but also was blacked out and doesn’t recall anything until very early that morning- and that it’s a miracle he ended up back at his proper hotel. he is insistent he didn’t do anything sexual with her either. now I’m stuck in limbo between two different issues. did he cheat on me and is saying he was drugged via his guilty conscious? or did he get drugged, and was assaulted? the trouble is also I have no way to confirm this. i told him i wanted him to report it/ get tested to know what it was- and he denied me and say that would get him in trouble so he wouldn’t do that… and that makes me feel sick. i spoke to someone who’s been drugged in the past and they said it was alarming how normal he was/ sounded for it having been just the night before. he also did admit that drugging aside, if he had honored my wishes for him to not go to bars or not stay friends with the guys who lack the same morals maybe he wouldn’t have been in that situation. i have so many ideas and feelings going through my head rn. I don’t know what the next best move is. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has been here before, or if there was anything I could do since he is still only protecting himself. I know he’s worked hard for everything, but this is also really serious. thanks