u/igorthecreator

Hi everyone, my partner and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. Throughout the relationship it has been an ongoing problem that he will consistently (like I mean every time) have to ask me to repeat myself when I’m talking to him because he loses track of the conversation or misses an important detail. For context, I love having conversations about the “deeper things” like what’s going on with myself emotionally or what’s going on with him emotionally. I like talking about the past and hearing about his past. It’s important to me to be heard- it’s one of the primary ways I really feel loved. I know that he loves me and cares deeply for me. He goes out of his way to do things for me to make my life easier, and when he knows I’m really struggling ( I have somewhat of a turbulent situation with some family members) he has dropped what he’s doing to come be present with me. But when it comes to processing a situation- I tend to verbally process-he just can’t seem to keep up. I’ll admit that I can tend to be long winded, but it seems that even when I omit stories and condense my thoughts or events of the day to a sentence or two I will still have to repeat myself, sometimes multiple times. He’s been diagnosed with adhd and has been trialing some different medications but so far the two that he’s tried haven’t really been working for him. One medication made him really anxious, and the one he’s on now just doesn’t seem to be making a difference for him.
I have tried to change how I talk to him, but no matter what he will inevitably lose track of the conversation- ask me what I was saying, tell me he “zoned out” etc. I know he doesn’t mean it to hurt me, but it’s so hard to feel like I can’t share about anything that isn’t actively happening in front of us and doesn’t require more than a quick sentence or two to unpack.
I’ve looked around online for anyone experiencing anything similar/ any advice for how to handle this kind of communication block- but everything I’ve seen so far is more along the lines of. “I ask my partner to empty the dishwasher every day and they never do it” that is definitely not the issue here- it’s in the personal communication/ sharing element of the relationship.
I love him so much and he’s really such a sweetheart- but I can’t seem to get over this hurdle. If there’s anyone out there who resonates with this, please comment, because I feel so isolated having this problem, and thanks for hearing me out and making it all the way down this ramble of a question.
If anyone has any practical ideas or advice or ways that you’ve found success in communication. I’m very open to trying new things, but I can’t tolerate a relationship where I’m pretty much able to converse with everyone else in my life- family, friends, coworkers, but not my partner- and I really want to try some things because I don’t want to give up on this relationship.