u/igual88

Hi all looking for some advice as I'm in a real pickle and nothing seems to be helping currently.

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Very briefly I had a very serious accident when I was a teen , cliff fall trapped for 3 days prior to rescue with serious injuries - front of lower right leg ripped off knee to shin , broken femur , 2 wedge fractures in spine , multiple ribs , multiple severe concussion, blood loss , severe dehydration and lots of smaller injuries.

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I will try to explain some of the initial things as they are fairly pertinent to how things now are.

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Where I landed was in a gully about 80ft down , multiple rock falls were landing on me during this time causing more injuries and concussion.

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I was hallucinating my tits off ( not in a good way ) from the concussions combined with massive blood loss and severe dehydration.

These were extremely vivid to the point I could not differentiate between reality or the hallucinations at times.

Often involving bizzarky Japanese rock lamps ( no idea why ) along with claustrophobia / darkness / being watched / stalked ( this one I can attribute to the fix that was eating the chunk of me I left on the rocks above a very surreal thing ) but unfortunately the hallucination twisted that on repeat.

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Triggers are pain and thirst primarily, leg and back are buggered massive nerve damage been on strong opioids for 15 years but taoering off as they don't do anything for the pain any more.

Imagine a blowtorch being run up and down your shin 24/7 and god forbid I knock it full 10/10 screaming pain that is insidious and unrelenting for hours.

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Untill I started the opioid reduction my main PTSD issues were at night in that twilight area of just falling asleep or when I've had a bad fall ( happens a lot due to nerve damage which sets the pain off at very high levels ).

The dehydration trigger is mostly easily avoided by drinking like a fish ( fluids not booze ) .

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However the last 2 months since starting to taper off the buprenorphine ( with support from PAIN DR ) i have been experiencing what I can only describe as body memories of the rocks digging in my back , maggots moving in the leg wound , tasting the rock in my mouth etc.

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It's becoming very distressing and the usual distraction techniques are not working.

I have an appointment with gp end of the week but want to see if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions as to how I can mitigate this or even heard of med tapering causing/making worse.

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Done many rounds of counseling over the years but the end result is the same don't open Pandora's box as the primary trigger ( pain) is always their. ( Not helpful)

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Cbt helped a bit for the night time issues which often revolve around the hallucinations side , emdr unfortunately was very ineffective.

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Most effective thing distraction wise is music loud and Leary stuff that I know was not around at that time sounds odd but it kind of works.

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The episodes during the daytime are becoming more vivid with the sensations being very acute and dominant causing a lot of distress.

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Any advice peeps

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Sorry if this post caused others to be upset.

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I'd love a small bbq hight adjustable grill and I kinda like the look of the cast iron but honestly no clue.

I have a large drum bbq for family events etc but it's totally ott for just me and kiddo if we fancy something done on the bbq for tea.