I'm curious to hear from creative folks. Ups and downs. I felt like shit for a while but ive slowly found it easier to illustrate with colors and even try clay. How has sobriety affected your art?
it still feels like I'm hanging on the edge, but today I'm nearly 3 weeks sober from weed after 2 years heavy use 🙂 i hope the worst of the fogginess is behind me. I'm stressed so I've been craving it, but I haven't caved yet so cheers to that!
- I'm turning 23 next week. I probably won't have time to do anything special that day though. Kind of crazy to think I could potentially be sober for my entire 23rd year. I can hardly believe I've already gone this far.
- Right now, it's fairly easy for me to stay sober but it's hard finding something fulfilling to take it's place. Like my impulse control still sucks. I've been averaging 14h a day on my phone which is noticeably higher than last month. Getting sober hasn't helped as much with procrastination w school like I hoped (weed definitely messed with my meds and ADHD, i probably just needs more time to readjust) so I still have a ton of shit to sort out. Definitely no alcohol for my birthday either I can't risk it
-It's a struggle to think of what's next for me. Sometimes, I get these 'flashes' where for like a second, I'm like 'what the hell am I doing with my life?' and the motivation is right there. But idk why, i habitually ignore it and keep going on my phone. I should be listening to it but it's hard to trust that voice I guess? Idk there's no real justification here I just suck at this
- Oh yeah I found a mixer and a mic in my dad's basement and I've been using it to record private video diary entries. I don't rlly have a social life and I found hearing my voice talk back to me in my headphones kinda tricks my brain to behave more like I'm talking to an audience.
- My sleep schedule is AWFUL though. The other day I slept from 12pm-1am. Today I'm up after only 4 hours of sleep. Melatonin only works so much.
- Today I'm going to pick my brother up from the airport. When he saw me last, I just quit and super foggy and struggling to follow his instructions on where to drive. I told him I hope to be sharper next time he sees me. I think I am! I certainly feel sharper. I owe him so much for getting me through this year. I want to be dependable for him.
- i gotta haul ass to clean our place today because it looks trashed (yep I attracted ants too) so I should get up soon
Cheers! Thanks for reading. Realizing this is more of a public diary entry than something for sober reddit lol ah well
After coasting on the kindness of my familys money and making up excuses, I'm ready to look for a job. In winter I worked at a movie theater but I hated it and quit. I've promised to find a job a couple times now, but i haven't even finished updating my resume or gone volunteering. I have massive ADHD problems but doing weed was way worse for my motivation. Doing nothing all day felt good. But not really. I buried my depression under more weed.
Anyways, I'm almost a week sober now!
So, any advice appreciated. What helped you get back on your feet job-wise? What helps with the shame? I've felt 'stuck' here for months, even with meds and a therapist, and it's agony. What helps with this kind of mental block?
Thanks ❤️
Hey there, quick thing. After reading a few threads and seeing the reasons I already felt like quitting spelled out right in front of me, i think it's time for me to quit weed. I turn 23 in July, been hooked on edibles on and off ever since I was legally able to purchase them. So about 2 years use. Every month for sure, usually twice a week, sometimes every day in a week.
The past 9 months I've more or less been in a hellish mental cage of my own making. Hungover all the time. Foggy. I want to get a job and foster a dog (or adopt two rats?), start gardening, try mountain biking, start following through on my word. I also don't want my brother to worry about me or my finances anymore. I feel corny for saying it but he needs a brother to depend on and I need to depend on myself too.
I'm entirely new to working on sobriety specifically because i haven't had a problem with drinking but I do drink if I'm out of edibles which is concerning. I'm seeing my therapist next week and just made this promise to myself (and a few other close friends—one of whom I think we can try to get sober together) and I'm scared of commitment but I don't want my entire life to disappear before my eyes
Summer is a less scary goal for me. Part of me is too scared to say 'forever' but it could be. I'm hoping. 3 months is too short to not feel like shit anymore but it'll give me plenty of time to find more reasons to keep being sober