u/illyftw93 — reddlx

Image 1 — I was banned for singlehandedly doing 40% of the weekly views of the Port Angeles subreddit in 13 hours.

Image 2 — I was banned for singlehandedly doing 40% of the weekly views of the Port Angeles subreddit in 13 hours.

Image 3 — I was banned for singlehandedly doing 40% of the weekly views of the Port Angeles subreddit in 13 hours.

Image 4 — I was banned for singlehandedly doing 40% of the weekly views of the Port Angeles subreddit in 13 hours.

▲ 0 r/PortAngeles2

I was banned for singlehandedly doing 40% of the weekly views of the Port Angeles subreddit in 13 hours.

Esteemed moderators of r/PortAngeles, gather ‘round.

I come to you not in anger, but in a state of mild meteorological bewilderment.

You deleted my post on the grounds that it was ‘not related to Port Angeles, Washington.’

A fascinating conclusion, considering the post was literally a continuation of a Port Angeles post, about Port Angeles weather, written while I was physically in Port Angeles being audited by the wind like I owed it back taxes.

By every known law of geography, proximity, and atmospheric hostility, the content was related.

If anything, it was overly related.

It was related by adjacency, by narrative lineage, by shared climatological trauma.

It was related in the same way thunder is related to lightning — not identical, but undeniably part of the same chaotic family tree.

Now, I’m not accusing anyone of anything.

I’m simply observing a curious coincidence:

In the span of 13 hours, my two posts generated over 40% of the entire subreddit’s weekly traffic.

That’s not me bragging — that’s just math.

And math, unlike wind, does not hold grudges.

So naturally, I must ask — with all due gentlemanly decorum —

what’s with the sudden administrative frostbite?

Because from my perspective, it feels a bit like the moment the subreddit realized one sleep‑deprived Philly born Texan in a tent was out‑performing the entire town’s digital output, someone reached for the eject button.

If there is a deeper lore, a hidden rulebook, or a sacred Port Angeles posting ritual I have violated, I am more than willing to be educated.

But if the issue is simply that my posts were too windy, too wordy, or too statistically disruptive, then I humbly suggest we address that directly rather than pretending the content wasn’t related.

I assure you, my intentions were pure:

to document the ongoing feud between myself and the local atmosphere,

to entertain the townsfolk,

and to contribute to the cultural tapestry of this fine coastal microclimate.

If you would like me to adjust my style, tone, or posting cadence, I am open to discussion.

If you would like me to continue generating algorithmically magnetic content for the community, I can do that too.

If you would prefer I tone down the chaos, I can attempt that — though I make no promises.

But please, let us not pretend the post was unrelated.

It was related by blood, sweat, and windburn.

Respectfully,

A man who has now done more traffic for this subreddit than the weather itself.

Illyftw93

u/illyftw93 — 7 days ago

▲ 0 r/portangeles

How's the weather update

Reddit Care Bot…

Listen, I appreciate you sliding into my inbox like a digital guidance counselor, but I promise you — I’m not spiraling. I’m just cold. Like, aggressively cold. Like the weather has taken a personal interest in my downfall and is now running a long‑term psychological operation against me.

Some poor soul saw my post and thought I was crying out from the abyss.

Brother, I was crying out — but the abyss was the wind, and it started it.

Let me break this down for you in a way your programming might understand.

I’m not out here unraveling emotionally. I’m out here getting jumped by the atmosphere. The sky has been pacing like it’s waiting on test results. The clouds are moving like they forgot their own address. The wind has been whispering at me like it’s trying to confess a felony.

You weren’t built for this.

You weren’t trained for ‘weather is bullying me.’

You don’t have a protocol for ‘the sky is acting like it wants to fight me behind a Safeway.’

And that’s okay.

We all have our limits.

My post wasn’t a cry for help — it was a field report.

A dispatch from the front lines of the Pacific Northwest, where the cold doesn’t just exist, it judges you. I wasn’t asking for emotional rescue. I was asking if anyone else has unlocked the ‘not freezing to death’ skill tree because the wind has been treating me like an unpaid intern.

But you showed up anyway, noble algorithm, ready to save me from myself.

Meanwhile, the only thing in crisis is the temperature.

So let me reassure you:

I’m stable.

I’m coherent.

I’m hydrated.

I’m wrapped in blankets like a burrito with trust issues.

It’s the weather that needs therapy.

It’s the sky that’s having an existential meltdown.

It’s the wind that’s been monologuing like a Shakespearean ghost with unresolved business.

But thank you for checking in.

It’s comforting to know that somewhere in the machinery of Reddit, a bot is ready to intervene when my metaphors get too spicy.

If you get another alert about me, just know:

I’m not crying out from the void.

I’m just reporting that the void is experiencing 30mph gusts and passive‑aggressive drizzle.

u/illyftw93 — 7 days ago

▲ 0 r/portangeles

How's the weather?

I came up here from Texas recently enough that my body still thinks the air should feel like it’s been simmering in a cast‑iron skillet or cooking in a thermonuclear crockpot. So when Port Angeles hit me with this cold, it felt less like weather and more like the Pacific Northwest personally filed a complaint against my existence. My bones aren’t just cold they’re actively drafting lease revocation papers to my body. Honestly Texas weather is basically a turbo charged industrial oven set to “broil.” Back in Texas the air doesn’t gently warm you like your favorite comfort food, or a strong drink let alone a malfunctioning heated blanket that on 10 feels like 4, it slow‑cooks you. You don’t walk outside, you marinate. So going from “Satan’s convection oven” to “Arctic emotional abuse” without a transition period? Yeah, my body is filing HR complaints. And look, I’ve survived some things. My tent didn’t catch on fire, almost... it almost did but with the reflexes of the flash after smoking a pound of weed I ran outside to deal with the malfunctioning battery. Mind you I completted said task in my shoes, boxer and hoodie. I was on it so fast you’d think I had a sixth sense for incoming chaos. I'm surprised the animals weren't cat calling me. The only reason I hesitated was because my first thought was, “Damn it, I gotta put my shoes on,” because foreshadowing a side I knew that not putting my shoes on would’ve been catastrophic. That’s how used I am to the universe throwing boss‑level events at me. I’ve tanked getting clipped by a Toyota Tundra like it was a light shove from a toddler. At this point, the universe throws random events at me like it’s bored and I’m its favorite crash‑test dummy. But this cold? This cold pulled up like it had personal beef. Somewhere between the sideways rain and the wind it feels like mother nature has unresolved childhood trauma, I realized I made a catastrophic miscalculation: I arrived without a Thermo‑Sapiens Heat Loop Partner. I would absolutely love to enter a mutually beneficial heat‑exchange treaty. I must say in a perfect world, would be Miss Rebecca Marie Gomez. I can see her now, descending from the heavens like a warm front, the undisputed goddess of radiance that she is. But let’s be real here. The universe has never once given me the perfect option first. It gives me the funny option. The chaotic option. The “this will be a story later” option. So at this point? I’m not picky. I’m cold enough that if the universe sent me someone built like a human space heater, I’d salute, sign the treaty, and accept my fate. Honestly, I’m starting to think the universe might bless me with someone who radiates so much heat she could fog up a window just by walking within half a mile. And in this climate? That might be the smarter choice. Meanwhile, I’m out here raw‑dogging the Pacific Northwest weather like a man who thought confidence and the Nike “Do It” mentality (obviously the Shia LaBeouf variant) alone could fight wind chill. Maybe whoever the universe sends my way can keep me from becoming a frozen cautionary tale on a park ranger’s clipboard adjacent to the note that says, “This is the same guy who tanked getting hit by a Toyota Tundra.” amongst other things. So I've got everything I need to survive out here. Food, gear, the whole setup. I'm fully self-sustaining. What if the universe sends me a co-contributor to staying warm? Someone willing to join forces in the ancient art of not freezing to death. I'm absolutely willing to share the resources, the warmth, and the treaty benefits.

reddit.com

u/illyftw93 — 7 days ago