u/iluv0b4ng

Would anybody be willing to outline exactly what they do (start to finish) during a shift especially during a NOC shift? besides the usual check and changes and charting. what’s the best way to go about my shift? rounds every 2hrs etc. i’d like to make a mental list of everything i’d need to do during my shift so that nothing is missed.

i’ll be coming off orientation in 3 days and with shadowing every person has a different routine. I want to maximize my time and make sure everything is done efficiently.

I’m a 20F Black woman dating my 21M Mexican boyfriend. We’ve been together for a while, and honestly this has been the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. He’s consistent, kind, has met my entire family, and I genuinely saw a future with him before this.

A couple days ago he sent me several memes that were making fun of Black people and Black women. They weren’t just dark humor they relied on negative stereotypes. It completely caught me off guard.
I explained why it hurt me. For me, it wasn’t just about the memes. It made me question how someone who loves a Black woman could laugh at jokes that put down people who look like me. I even told him it made me think about my family because he’s met all of them.

He apologized and has repeatedly told me he loves me, respects me, and doesn’t see Black people that way. But he also admitted that he still finds those memes funny because, to him, they’re “just jokes” and he doesn’t take them seriously. He said this kind of humor has always been normal around him.

I don’t think he’s trying to hurt me intentionally. I genuinely believe he loves me. I also don’t think he’s a hateful person. That’s why I’m struggling so much. This doesn’t feel black-and-white to me.

I feel like we’re talking past each other. I’m trying to explain that even if he doesn’t believe the stereotypes, laughing at jokes built on those stereotypes still makes me question how he views people like me. He keeps saying jokes don’t reflect his real beliefs.

I’m not looking for people to tell me “just leave him.” I’m genuinely looking for advice from people who have been in interracial relationships or have gone through something similar.

Has anyone successfully worked through something like this? If you were the non-Black partner, what helped you understand? If you were the Black partner, what made you feel like your partner truly “got it”?