u/im_mp

I need some advice on how to deal with a judgemental selfish father.

Back story- i 34f is currently looking for a job. I am married to a wonderful supportive guy. I have been a fairly good student throughout my life. Because of this my father liked me. Whenever I do little bad in exams he will be disappointed and not so affectionate.

Recently I got a high paying job and left it for some reason. While I was working he visited my place and loved it there. He was extremely affectionate, cooked for me arranged my home etc. after I left the job I can't describe his disappointment. He calls me and asks me to look for some low paying jobs, why are you aiming so high. I myself is in a state of self doubt. I suffer from extremely low confidence I am a people pleaser. Now he calls and tells me these. All because he can't show off to society about me. He makes all sorts of judgement about me and my husband twists my words when I tell him about my plans. And then question me later about them. I just can't take it.

It makes me angry burdened. So much so that I wish he was dead and then only I ll be free of this pressure. The pressure to make him feel proud. I have done enough. And it's not this time every time I tried to achieve something he will discourage like anything. And when I become successful he will be extremely happy proud. He doesn't care how I feel as a human being. I called his selfish because he wishes that I get a job far from my husband (where I was working) because he liked the place and can go for pilgrimage easily from there.

How do I come out of this toxic loop.

Got fired from job. Please help

Got fired today from a quant startup after barely 2 months and honestly I still feel anxious and relieved at the same time. This was my first job.

The role was very different from what was discussed during hiring, and for a while I’d been feeling mentally exhausted. The culture also felt very intense emotionally, it felt like my boss wants a loyal dog chained to the office. A recent conversation with him regarding a sick leave drained me emotionally. I could still endure this, but coming from a mathematical background the kind of work I was given had no mathematical basis. And I could see no growth here.

After this I started casually looking around for other opportunities. I commented on a LinkedIn hiring post and completely forgot those things are visible to people in your network. My boss saw it today and within minutes I was fired.

What’s weird is I don’t even feel guilty for exploring other jobs. There was no bond or anything, and I was already thinking this role probably wasn’t for me long term. I just didn’t expect such a sudden and emotional reaction.

Part of me honestly feels relieved. Another part of me is terrified because the market is rough and now I have this awkward 2-month stint on my CV.

Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve gone through something similar.