Idk how to cultivate any kind of true friendship I think…this has destroyed me mentally.
I was hanging with people I’ve know for years in discord (we hang out in person as well). The topic of stuff we are interested into lately gaming and content wise came up and suddenly when I spoke everyone was surprised with what I mentioned (Zelda and Starfox) and said that was new to them. Idk why but that just made me realize I have never had the confidence to mention anything I’m into unless I know someone else was also into it. I just talk about the same games or show.
It made me realize that I don’t have anyone I can really be me around because I never had and I’m too scared to. I’m fucking 34 and I’m bawling my eyes out over this. It’s just made me feel stupid and my depression has came back so extreme now. I thought I had gotten out of it a long time ago. Now I just wanna hide and bury myself in the sand. Fuck…