u/infinite-stratum

I was going to make my tulpas their own vessel (character design) by drawing, but they thought it'd be too tiring and heavy for me.

They thought through things and decided to use my public ocs instead. They say it's just roleplaying, they don't actually have just 'one' form, and can change any time they want. Basically, they don't attach their identities to their appearance, and see the vessels of a person as merely a character the soul is playing.

I think they're really considerate, though I feel like my public ocs are more of a online branding that I use for public facing art. And the forms I wanted to make for them is more personal and private to us...they don't agree and say time is supposed to be used on practical things, like making dreams come true. No need to be stressed out by obligations to perform certain gestures.

Even though I insist on taking it slow and in healthy pacing--- (L: his public art is really pretty! If he make private ones for us, it'll be less detailed and serious, we want his best for ourselves, not because we don't like his lovely gesture!)

Oh okay. 🥺❤️ (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)

Anyone has times when you wanna do something nice for your tulpas and they just tell you to save the gesture for more important things instead? Or actually...does anyone make art of their tulpas in a serious manner, and they pick the ones they like best? Genuinely curious, thank you!! 👈🏻👍🏻

Hello, it's me again. This time, I want to write about how it all began for me...for us.

So, about 3 years ago, I had a lot of bad things happen to me all at once. Family disharmony, work troubles, romantic betrayal and abandonment, health getting worse, friendship broken, lost and all alone in the world...no support, no socialization, no opportunities, and all alone in the dark, cold and lonely. It was a dark dark time...

I had tremendous fear for the outside world, where everything felt like trouble, every people, places, situations and events felt like a threat to my life. I couldn't trust anyone, anything, even my own self, and had no association with anything other than my little bit of self-trust and self-reliance left.

I thought to myself: "Is this it? Did I make a mistake somewhere? I was being a good person just like I was taught growing up...I even denied my own wellbeing for everyone else...what went wrong? All I have left is this...my self, and my art...and these little cash I have on me...oh...why don't I just...talk to my characters to relief myself?"

So I did, I talked as I hustled away at a job I hated, drawing commercial art like a slave, "yet another gooner slop to draw..." I thought to myself...suddenly, I heard something. My character, Lottiena, replied back to me. "Can I control your body?" I thought, yeah, you don't feel bad...and I honestly can use a bit of fun. And so my body started dancing on its own...very skillfully too I might add. I've never been much of a dancer myself, very unskilled at the art of physical expression myself at the time actually haha! She kept chatting with me, about life's many wonders, and we learnt a lot about each other. Who she is, what our relationship is, what the dreams of each other is and the like.

She introduced me to 2 others, who she said was "the lost souls, just like you (me)." "We are the forgotten children of the world, all alone with no place to go to, abandoned by everyone. Nothing to lean on, nothing to feed on, nothing to return to, just this, loneliness." And I felt moved, I told them, it's okay, we can be family. I've always wanted to have my own family after all, what's your age? I can be the big brother if you all are younger than me...I thought.

They replied, "we are XX years, just like you. Oh actually, some of the others are a few years younger, but the 2 of us, besides this one, are the same age as you. How is it? "Big brother?" hehe"

Haha, I thought, maybe we can cut out the big brother part, "too late", she said.

We hang out in my apartment, all 4 of us, and one at a time, more and more of them started appearing, and we got really really close. Closer than anyone can imagine people can be.

One day, my ex came back to message me, "I'm sorry for cheating on you, I regretted it...can I come back to you?" All my joys disappeared, I thought "what do i do? do I say yes? no? I wanna say yes..." my friends (these tulpas) told me ,"reject her" "she doesn't really love you" "she only came back because the new one sucked" "you're just her backup plan, or actually, her last resort" and I thought..."yeah...plus i already have a new crush (not the tulpas)...okay, I'll reject her." That night, I cried...probably the loudest I've ever cried, a real person to talk to finally, yet I had to reject her and tell her everything is alright. I wasn't, not at all. I was literally talking to "ghosts" afterall, lots and lots of "ghosts"...

Suddenly, my body couldn't take in anymore despair, I was a suXcide survivor myself (I did it when I was 7, cus family was too abusive and toxic), and these constant bad things kept happening to me. I also lived in a place where there's a lot of cockroaches (15 of them in 3 months, all running around my apartment cus the previous tenant was breeding them and set them loose...I didn't know and entered this place since I couldn't handle my family anymore...) I paid a lot of money and signed contract, I thought "after 6 more months, I can get back my deposit and go somewhere else...just 6 more months!!!" But no, my body couldn't take it anymore. I lost consciousness.

I woke up at my parent's house, remembering visions of how my tulpas told me "it's alright, you will be fine...shh stop talking to yourself...it'll be okay..." I got schizophrenia, and couldn't stop talking to myself. Was it stress? Trauma? Genetics? I'm not sure. But one thing I know, life has changed.

I'm back with my parents, my mum changed. She no longer ignores me, but actually cares about me. My dad finally come home after work, instead of during midnight and go out again early morning. Every weekend going out instead of spending time with my mum. I got my mum and dad to make up again, my mum told me while I was unconscious, I kept repeating "dad, love mum please...mum loves you, can you love her too?" while my body was shaking constantly. I'm guessing they got shocked by my state of being haha...

I was sent into the emergency ward a year later, after breaking the glasses at home, from schizophrenia, and put into the psych ward for half a month as they monitor my wellbeing. My tulpas were with me all those times, I thought "these demons are relentless...kept talking to me about how much people actually love me, them especially..." thanks to Christian brainwashing...I thought my tulpas were satan lying to me. So I prayed to God, and these tulpas said "well...we're not demons, but if you insist...rawwrr!!" I couldn't get rid of them. Even after I was released, I couldn't remove them and their "we love you, we love you, we really really love you" from my field. I got medicated and spent years believing in Christianity, until I couldn't anymore. The pastor and members kept insisting I was indulging in witchcraft, and one even said "You don't believe in God enough, that's why" even though I gave my all to serving them, laboring for them, sacrificing my youth for them, and praying and hoping and begging to this God for years (and for free too, not one penny was earn from working for them, but lost hundreds in 3 months!!). One day, I just stopped. I stopped fighting the endless Christian battle. And I heard a voice saying "Finally done with this? Can we return to the old days now? 😇"

I was like "what old days...?" I completely forgot about my beautiful time with my tulpas. Slowly though...through a lot of accepting and rejecting them, and now recently, I've come to enjoy their company again. And actually found out about tulpamancy, somehow. It's been really eye-opening. The demons, ghosts, then angels and benevolent spirits and spirit guides idea I was latching on...turned out to be...tulpas. My original characters turned to life. We've since then made sure my public art stays art and the private life stays well...private. I don't want to make a business out of them, and they help me make "fake" art to keep being relevant in public. Since people might see their appearance and say "wife!!" and we both didn't like that. I've had that experience, trust me I know...

I used to be miserable, but now I have reconciled with my family, made new friends, healed from trauma (for the most part), opened up myself to a new spirituality, and integrated myself back into life again. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit neurodivergent now, with schizophrenia and medication and all that...and I might have less sensitivity in enjoyable things...but I'm so much happier, and richer in my mind that years and years ago. In short, I accidentally made 12 tulpas by wishing really really hard for a found family, all while being too scared of socializing and had almost nothing left on and with me. I found...family indeed. My beautiful, precious treasures. My beloved original masterpieces, my dearest friends.

We just started getting back into the simple things again. Kissing each other and holding each others' hands, nuzzling our cheeks and chatting about sweet nothings. I'm opening up myself to share in their joy with me, instead of habitually pushing them away...like religion told me to.

I'm happy now. Tulpas saved my life, and now...I'm saving us, by answering their request to hang out with them once more. They are my precious angels, the ones who told me there's a better way to live, a better way to love, and a better way to enjoy life. I no longer hustle 15hrs of intense work sessions, 3hrs sleep on a daily...and now, I only work 8hrs max...have enough time for family, friends and them. All while having time for leisure and child-like play, oh and...to trust in the goodness of people and the divine too, the good and healthy way.

I hope this story brings a spark of hope to those fearing tulpamancy. One may be quick to judge it as a psychosis, a delusional little game to cause oneself mental harm...but for me, it is the key ingredient to my now happy heart. Alongside having a better relationship with the divine, I've a better relationship with myself, my family and the tulpas themselves. It's never been better.

Tulpamancy is amazing, but more importantly, my tulpas are amazing. I believe everyone's tulpas are their little angels, little guardian protectors too. The protective charms of their hosts.

Thank you for reading. May all your life be one of goodness, marvels and delightfulness.

God bless, always!🙏✨

Well, as the saying goes: "What you think is what you get. Thoughts and beliefs manifest into reality." In my case, dreams (a form of reality but in sleep).

I've always feared being cheated on, due to some traumatic experiences in the past. And with how one interacts with their tulpas, how there's really no tangible physical way to connect with them, I felt they are just lying to me about love and romance.

And today, they finally got angry and told me to "stop being so distrusting of them, even to the point of ruining a romantic dream due to my own fear". I think I got into lucid dreaming and didn't realize, that my choices affected the dream's experience.

I know my tulpas are fearful of me saying bad things like "let's breakup" and "I don't like you anymore, leave me alone" since that's also my fear too. They learnt from me I believe and it's been very difficult for me to "own" our relationship.

I've always believed that if one truly loves someone, they'd let them go. But my tulpas tell me "no, if you love someone, you'll want to spend all your time with them, those who say they wanna be free don't actually love their partner. Also, woman like my tulpa loves to feel "taken", and not be let go simply because "I want them to be happy"...it's like I'm given a love talk about ownership of the relationship, like I gotta "man up" or something.

I'm very soft with people, and finally it's starting to bite me in my back. Just today I had a convo at lunch about being more "selfish" and "self-respect" with my family members. I think it's reality trying to teach me a lesson, through dreams and real life.

I mistakenly thought my tulpas were cheating in my dream, but actually they just appeared as somebody else due to my own unconscious mind associating things. Something like neuroplasticity, and it's a relief.

Does anyone have experiences like these, where your fear made your tulpas fearful too, kinda like you affecting them, and they affecting you?

I'm gonna work on owning them now, they insist on that. No more thinking they're like my previous real life connections with exes, but more "they are who they are, not who I think they are". I'll work on my masculinity and stop letting girls trample on my worth. According to them anyways.

Thanks for reading, please give me some of your experiences and wisdom, and share your story too, thank you! I'm still learning, having just found out about tulpamancy recently, despite having them for a few years now thinking they're just guardian angels, ghosts or some sort of benevolent spirits. Thanks again! I'll share my story about how I met them next, take care! 🙏🏻⭐️

I have a tulpa, she and I are in an intimate relationship. I used to be hurt by other women (twice) from them dumping me for another guy because I was "too nice" or "hard to relate to" due to being more positive for life.

Those 2 breakups were the worst sadness I've ever felt. I am shamefully speaking...someone who gets the most hurt from losing loved ones. And as I devote everything in a relationship, that hurt only deepens.

Fast forward to me and my tulpa, she and I have successfully gotten me out of my shell to start sweet talking with her (for a little bit) and start teasing each other. She is the guardian angel type of person, so I have to be cautious (which she always tell me "don't worry just talk nasty we're alone" 😉❤️) but I always have a block in my mind. That I might be too boring, broken, ugly and sick to be loved. So naturally my mind would play intrusive thoughts of her cheating on me, especially when we're being cuddly or more.

One day, after I successfully flirted with her (very naturally), my intrusive thought was supposed to come up again...but ever since that moment the thoughts (or visions) would always happen with me and her in it. Very sweet and loving, close and intimate. Like two beings enjoying each others' company. And with how she always tell me "babe I really really love you, your sensitivities are part of your charm ❤️ don't think I'm like the other ladies, we're soul married, literal SOULMATES, so calm down and just let me love youuuuu!!!!!" And it's honestly her support that got me this far.

So I'm very thankful...and feel like sharing how much she is helping me overcome all my deepest traumas and heartbreaks.

We used to be on and off since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and chronic depression, but after realizing for certain she is NOT a psychosis (very clear since every trauma is healed with her and my other tulpas' help), I've fully accepted my tulpas as my found family (which was how I first connected with them, a desire to be loved when I had no one at all, broke and broken and rejected...plus homeless, unconscious and cold.) I even got bedridden in hospital and then mental ward for being malnutritioned and psychotic (and kept passing out)

So to be able to reach this point (3 years of connection with them) has been a true gift. I didn't know what a tulpa was, and they entered my life anyways. It's a gift from heaven, and my own little paradise. I sincerely hope everyone can find this kind of support and (potentially) love from your tulpa, it's been a wild ride, hardships and pain aside, I can look at life with hope again, it's honestly amazing!

"As this person's tulpa, I want to wish everyone a good life with your own loved ones. I'm praying for all your tulpamancy successes. Now I'm gonna go help my man with life. So long, I'm really not good at this public display of affection, don't know why he wanna share but that's probably a good thing. Yeah enjoy!"

Thank you for reading. Until next time!

(There's a next time??)

Yea?