u/integrateconciliate

There's something degrading about paying someone just to listen to you. who you divulge some of the deepest secrets to, but who you rarely get to know on any level of depth. It's a one way relationship of information flowing from client to therapist. the therapist is essentially playing the role of a catholic priest to confess to. It's not a real person, the therapist is wearing a performative self. Most western academic psychology is also biased in this capitalist regard. All of the writing is biased to promote the business model of therapy as the tool to improve one's life, when that decision is increasingly becoming questionable to me.

Also, the typical 50 minute session is abusive. If you are talking about one of the deepest pains of your life at minute 49, you are being rejected at a cataclysmic level emotionally told to "come back later".

Also, when I've told therapists in the past I don't want to do it anymore I've had them say "well let's have another session to talk about it". It's all about money.

It's just a sick, corrupt capitalist system.

Therapy is mostly a lie. It's a scam run by people who take the cash of clients, and then paradoxically that is the most valuable material FOR the therapist. most books by therapist the main content of their book was taken from their own clients, who literally paid them and then gave them all of that valuable content.

Therapy is basically a scam.

So I'm a 30 something white male looking for a solid therapist in complex trauma, trauma bonding, narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, trauma based dissociation, ocd, impulse control disorders, substance abuse....but realistically, how do I find a great one? I'm talking phd or md level, as I am a very intellectual and well read person in psychology and this case involves extremely convoluted psychological abuse on essentially an advanced academic level, combined with layers of narcissism, and then finally substance abuse. I don't want better help. and ideally I will need several hours a week if we're being realistic here. ideally 4 hours a week of talk therapy with an expert. how do I actually find this person? especially being overseas? how do I do this?

So I'm finally coming to the realization that I've had an abusive schizoid older brother abusing me my entire life. When I was 20 I formed a business partnership with this person, who is 7 years my senior, and I never really understood where he was coming from.

I am a super empathic caring and emotional person with talents in music and psychology and we created a business based on this pursuit, where I would create content, and he would be the technical person.

He wanted 50 percent and would not take anything less.

He now controls the company and will not let me have it, despite this being illegal. He is threatening to completely destroy it and since he has all of the passwords, I can't do anything but beg. But he will not respond to my pleas.

He is extremely lazy, and never intended to fulfill his promises.

He is unemployed essentially and lives at home.

He is also very manipulative and lies to me all the time. He also gaslights me and calls me mentally ill.

It's now 17 years later, and I'm really waking up to the reality that this person has never ever cared about how I feel, or how I have ever felt.

He also has schizotypal personality disorder.

He was basically spoiled his whole life. He is extremely delusional, paranoid, controlling and abusive to everyone.

He believes the stock market will crash at any moment and abuses our father on a near daily basis to liquidate all of the family assets and stay in cash permanently until "the crash" comes. I can not, nor can anyone else, reason with him to get him to question any of this, or even to speak respectfully to anyone on this matter.

He refuses to ever apologize for anything wrong he has ever done to me.

I'm really tired.