A certain Catholic Church in Cavite
I’m very new to this community (and to Reddit in general), so please bear with me. I just really need to vent and see if anyone else has had similar experiences.
Around Lent of 2025, I started immersing myself in parish service, particularly in the music ministry. Looking back, I honestly wish I had never served. In my months of service, I was met with a mataray na pari (entitled priest) and backstabbing coordinators. Because of past traumas with these kinds of attitudes, being in this toxic environment completely drained me—to the point where I genuinely lost my Catholic faith.
The "Mataray" Priest. This priest frequently interrupts certain choir groups that he seemingly has "beef" with. (There is confirmed drama here, but it would take too long to explain). For example, when my friend's choir group would begin a song, he would purposefully start singing late and expect the entire ministry to magically adjust to him on the fly. He also shamelessly plays favorites, targeting almost all groups except for a select chosen few.
The Backstabbing MAS (Ministry of Altar Servers) Coordinator. This guy is the type who will look you straight in the eye, turn to his friend, and immediately start whispering. If you try to be nice and wave at him, he will instantly pull out his phone and walk right past you like you don’t exist.
The Backstabbing Popular Devotion Coordinator. I want to preface this by saying I have no intention of spreading hate toward the LGBTQ+ community, because I am part of it myself (pansexual). But this person is exactly the stereotype that makes people look down on us. He is like the MAS coordinator, but worse. He will literally roll his eyes while walking past you. He is, without a doubt, the type of person who talks trash behind your back.
These aren't just baseless allegations; these behaviors are proven and witnessed by many. But because they are officers, the regular volunteers can’t do anything about it. We are just forced to wait until the clerical assignments rotate and the ministry rosters finally change.
I hold firm to the belief that "no priests are perfect." That’s a given. But this priest barely even tries to fix his attitude. What makes it incredibly ironic is that these people are the most vocal about "the Church becoming the frontier for social change," yet their actions say otherwise. It makes me so sad. A lot of my friends have already stopped serving in the parish because of the toxic environment these leaders are enforcing. I eventually left too because I couldn't stomach the bratty behavior anymore.
Kung nababasa man ito ng mga tinutukoy ko o di kaya ay natatamaan. Please. Magbago na kayo. Maraming umaalis sa ministries dahil sa mga ugali niyo. Porket bitbit palagi kayo ni Father, hindi nangangahulugan na magmamataas na kayo sa mga ordinaryong kasapi sa parokya.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of toxicity in their local parishes? How do you cope when the very people who are supposed to lead you closer to God are the ones driving you away?