r/ToxicChurchRecoveryPH

When Serving God Becomes Difficult Because of People

Naa koy pangutana: Pagsulay pa ba ni, o panahon na ba nga mohawa ko?

Naa koy ministry nga akong gihigugma. Ganahan ko kaayo mo-alagad ug dili gyud nako gusto nga biyaan dayon tungod lang sa mga problema.

Pero sa paglabay sa panahon, nakasinati ko og mga butang nga nakapakapoy ug nakapasakit nako.

Kada adlaw murag naay istorya bahin namo bisan wala man mi’y gibuhat nga daotan. Naay gossip, misunderstanding, ug mga sulti nga usahay dili na nako mahibaw-an kung asa gikan. Mas lisod pa kay ang uban nga leaders sa ministry murag pabor sa pikas side, mao nga usahay mobati ko nga dili patas ang situation.

Nakaabot ko sa punto nga nangutana ko sa akong kaugalingon:

“Lord, kinahanglan pa ba nako ni antuson?”
“Pagsulay pa ba ni nga kinahanglan nako labyan?”
“O basin panahon na nga undangan na nako?”

Kay tinuod lang, kapoy gyud nga sige kag buhat og maayo pero lain gihapon ang istorya sa mga tawo bahin nimo.

Pero akong nasabtan sa akong pagpamalandong mao nga dili tanan nga lisod kinahanglan dayon biyaan, ug dili pud tanan nga kinahanglan antuson kinahanglan antuson hangtod sa hangtod.

Kung tinuod nga ganahan ko sa akong ministry ug ang akong tumong mao ang pag-alagad sa Ginoo, dili nako gusto nga ang gossip ug jealousy sa uban maoy magbuot kung kanus-a ko mohunong.

Dili nako kontrolado ang ilang isulti.
Dili nako kontrolado kung kinsa ilang tuohan.
Dili nako kontrolado kung kinsa ilang paboran.

Pero kontrolado nako kung unsaon nako pagtubag.

Mao nga akong gipili nga dili motubag sa gossip og gossip. Dili ko gusto nga ang ilang gibuhat mahimong rason nga mausab pud akong batasan. Kung limpyo akong konsensya, padayon ko sa pagbuhat og maayo.

Pero nakat-on pud ko nga ang pag-forgive dili pasabot nga kinahanglan ko nga walay boundaries. Pwede gihapon ko mahimong respectful ug loving samtang nag-protect sa akong peace. Pwede ko mangayo og advice sa usa ka trusted ug mature nga leader. Ug kung moabot ang panahon nga kinahanglan nako usbon ang akong role o mohawa, gusto nako nga ang desisyon gikan sa prayer, wisdom, ug peace—not from anger or revenge.

Sa katapusan, mao ni akong gipanghawiran:

Dili ko mag-alagad para sa approval sa mga tawo. Mag-alagad ko tungod kay gusto nako nga mahimong faithful sa Ginoo.

Ang mga tawo mahimong adunay ilang kaugalingong version sa storya, pero ang Ginoo nakahibalo sa tibuok kamatuoran.

Basin kini usa ka pagsulay.
Basin usa kini ka lesson sa patience ug boundaries.
Basin basin pud kini usa ka season nga kinahanglan nakong tun-an kung asa gyud ko dapat magpabilin.

Wala pa nako ang tanang tubag.

Pero sa karon, akong pilion nga dili magpadala sa gossip, dili manimalos, dili mangdaot, ug dili dayon mohunong tungod lang sa kasakit.

Magpadayon ko sa akong calling samtang mangayo ko og wisdom sa Ginoo.

Kay usahay, ang pinakadakong test sa atong faith dili kung unsa ka maayo ta mo-alagad kung tanan mosuporta nato—kundili kung makapadayon ba ta sa pagbuhat og maayo bisan dili ta masabtan. 🙏

Unsa inyong advice? Kung naa mo sa akong situation, mopadayon ba mo sa ministry, magbutang og boundaries, o panahon na ba nga mohawa?

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u/Stunning_Wealth_2256 — 16 hours ago

Christian Officemates

Thoughts on self proclaimed Christians pero iba yung pinapakita? I have officemates na self proclaimed, pero grabe manigaw and mamahiya ng tao, nagnanakaw sa procurement, and yung negosyo nya naging competitor na ng ofc namin.

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u/Mysterious-Act4022 — 3 days ago
▲ 47 r/ToxicChurchRecoveryPH+1 crossposts

Books About Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC): 6 Book Recommendations on Cults, Thought Reform, and Totalitarianism

These six books help explain how organizations like Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC) acquire control over people’s thinking, behavior, identity, and their social world, and how systems of obedience like INC sustain themselves. Together, these books provide ways of understanding INC through cult control, thought reform, totalism, conformity, domination, and the recovery of individual agency. Six books that explain INC better than INC explains itself.

Combating Cult Mind Control + Freedom of Mind: Steven Hassan, author of both books, focuses on destructive influence and authoritarian control, including his BITE Model of Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional Control, and then on recognizing those mechanisms, communicating with people under undue influence, and recovering personal autonomy. Together, the books provide a framework for understanding how INC can exercise control over members and how people can recognize, resist, and recover from that influence.

Cults in Our Midst + Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: Margaret Thaler Singer, author of Cults in Our Midst, examines cultic relationships, cultic recruitment, psychological manipulation, manipulative dependency, and personal recovery. Robert Jay Lifton, author of Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, provides the classic framework of thought reform and ideological totalism. Together, the books help explain how environments like INC can systematically alter belief, behavior, identity, and a person’s relationship with the outside world.

The Origins of Totalitarianism + The Human Condition: Hannah Arendt, author of both books, broadens the analysis toward domination, mass organization, conformity, isolation, ideology, authority, political action, and the conditions that diminish human agency. Together, the books provide a much larger framework for scrutinizing the social and organizational conditions that allow systems of obedience and domination like INC to sustain themselves.

Individually, these books approach the problems within the Iglesia Ni Cristo from different directions. Together, they provide a framework for better understanding INC, the centralized systems of control and obedience that sustain it, the dangers and harms those systems can create, the trauma they can inflict on members and former members, and the process of recovering individual autonomy. They also provide a framework for asking much better questions about INC: How is obedience produced? How is dissent treated? How does INC control what members can know and believe? How does INC membership become part of a person’s identity? How are INC members psychologically and socially separated from outsiders? And what allows someone to recover autonomy after leaving the Iglesia Ni Cristo?

u/Pillowpet5432 — 5 days ago

I feel tired serving in Jil church

Hello i just joined here

Gusto ko lang i share to kasi maybe this way para maagapan lang yung pagod or galit ko hehe also sorry if meron parts na probably hindi nyo maintindihan

I've been a drummer in a JIL church for years. Masaya naman pero syempre may ups and downs but... Nakakapagod lang like there are times na kailangan "dapat uma-attend ka dito sa activity na to" and more activities na nakakapagod. No choice so pupunta ako dun

Kasi pag ayaw mo, papagalitan lang ako ng pastor and parents ko, may nakakaranas ba nito?

Kasi may times na talaga na gusto ko na mag quit sa music pero kasi yung family mo lumaki na sa JIL so you really can't quit or leave the church and also natatakot ako na baka magalit sa akin si Lord and bring all the consequences of my leaving.

But yeah tina-try ko na lang kalimutan and then move forward na lang.

Sorry medyo confusing yung sinasabi ko, just wondering lang kung meron sa inyo nakakaranas nito

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u/Kazuki19 — 5 days ago

Beware sa ganitong mga Church

I've been a christian all my life, I have no problem with being a christian my only problem is, many churches or organization use christian works for their own benefits and pagkakaperahan which galawang scammer at false leaders/preachers.

I've had come upon this church since I was already running late sa church namen and I was searching kung saan malapit na church na christian. Then pumunta na me of course I was surprised na may cafe sa baba ng simbahan baket merong business sa loob ng church, yun palang na red flag na ako.

Nag start na ang service, nag worship na and nag preach na yung pastor nila gulat ako sa pastor nila dameng alahas and naka gintong ngipen pa and may isa pang lalake na preacher den na may alahas den at relo na apaka gara na naka gold teeth den. Sabe ko sa sarili ko " Parang yaman naman ng mga 'to"

Then the offering of tithes started then a lady was speaking while people dropped their envelope in the middle of the stage where the box of offerings is placed but while nag sasalita yung babae she said "Mag graduate na po tayo sa bente-bente at sa 50 50 kung gusto po naten ng malaking blessing ibigay po naten sa Lord ang gusto naten ma receive".

I was shocked simpre kase no church would say that especially Christian Church kase not all people have the same income and pera na para sabihin nila na "mag graduate na sa bente bente at fifty fifty" that's just fishy.

And last thing nakita ko sa loob ng simbahan nila is meron silang number na naka paskil naka lagay na parang for renovation ng church and million na yung na raise which is very very unreal. Plus yung pastor na was mentioning a bishop mommy "A BISHOP MOMMY??" HHAHAHHA I just can't its giving KATHRYN KRICK

Anyway 'yon lang naman basta hinde na ako unattended ever since. Just to let you know hinde ako bot or isang taong inutusan para siraan sila it's literally what I saw sa simbahan nila kaya kayo nalang pumunta try n'yo.

u/AnArmTo — 8 days ago
▲ 56 r/ToxicChurchRecoveryPH+1 crossposts

The members keep being reminded that the END is near - (3 Questions)

Almost every worship service, the members are reminded that THE END is near. Not just near. VERY VERY NEAR. I love hearing it in Tagalog. Malapit na. Napakalapit na! Talagang napakalapit na!! Sobrang lapit na talaga!!! OMG Super lapit naaahh! (sorry got carried away LOL)

Anyway, so my questions are, A) If it is really really really near, why is there still a need to give offerings? Remember what the offerings are for? "For the needs of the saints..." such as building the temple of the Lord.

So why is the church buying more and more properties? Last I heard they purchased a building to be a District office in Las Vegas. A 4,400 square foot building. Really? That's how the offerings are used for since the Day is veryyyyy near?

B) No offense to the people living in Vegas but does the church really want to proudly announce they bought a building in Las Vegas? For those who don't know, Las Vegas is also called SIN CITY. Why? It's not just a nickname, every kind of sin is found there. From gambling, drunkeness, wild parties, orgies, prostitution, drugs and organized crime. Woo-hoo! INC got a property there!! That's like Lot saying, hey guys! I just built new houses in Sodom & Gomorrah! Yeah!!

AND C) Please look at the other picture. What do you notice? They purchased a property using the offerings of the members. What do they say? THANK YOU, PO! WE LOVE YOU PO! BROTHER EDUARDO MANALO AND BROTHER ANGELO MANALO. Ok, ok, to be fair they bothered making a second sign that includes at the very bottom, all glory be unto God. Is that so? IF ALL glory be unto God then why does EVM and Chubs Jr get top billing and bigger signs?? IT AIN'T ALL BE UNTO GOD is it? God doesn't even get the Love sign. sigh

And they wonder why the INC is being called a CULT.

u/Big_Menu_496 — 10 days ago

Has anyone been cursed by church people?

How are you? Did you survive?

Context:

I suspected church leaders for forcing their beliefs into a sibling so she neglected proper medical help. Weirdly, I didn't even confront them directly and I was just speculating and asking people for confirmation. They have confirmed it with their own actions.

My sibling died as a guinea pig of that very popular herbal supplement brand they advised her to drink. In retrospect, her case was very manageable had she taken proper maintenance medication.

During the interment, they shared a few stories about other people who have insulted, offended, or disobeyed them and how those people had either died or suffered from some of kind of misfortune. They considered it as God's way of retribution in their behalf. It's as if they were giving me a warning.

reddit.com
u/lunasanguinem — 14 days ago

QUESTION: Kung totoong malapit na ang katapusan ng mundo, bakit kailangan pang mangingi-alam o pumasok sa politics?

This just dawned on me, and it kind of shows what the goals of the incult are.

If what the incult is saying is true, that the world's end is very near, shouldn't they focus on saving as many people as they can and focus on evangelical missions?

Why is it then that the incult is more focused on placing people in strategic social and political positions? This move is only done by people who want to achieve long-term goals.

For a doomsday cult proclaiming the end of the world is near to dabble in politics and worldly matters is hypocritical. Or does the incult actually not believe that the world is ending?

So, for the lurkers and OWEs here, please enlighten me. Why???

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u/gentled0g — 13 days ago