u/intheshoop

Mitten auf dem Spielplatzweg, nahe Verzweigung, von Lenker:in keine Spur, ob das wohl schon anzeigewürdig ist oder doch nur Ups-Ich-Muss-Pipi-Boxenstopp?

girls and enbys, I (28, agender girlie) am too stunned to speak

tl;dr: dreamboat date boosted my confidence after sad relationship by being honest, cute, giving me compliments and hyping me up

skippable context:

I was in a ten-month relationship until about two months ago. the relationship started out great, we‘d met on hinge as a one night stand initially, we clicked surprisingly well and it progressed from there.

we didn’t really have any issues until seven months in. it went from being lovely companionship to misunderstandings, disagreements, empty promises. I tried a lot to ‚fix it‘ but I felt very unloved and undesired.

previous to the relationship, my confidence was at an all time high. my confidence in my character/personality had been growing steadily through therapy and self care and I‘d got over feeling self conscious about my looks (complicated relationship to my own body and face)

within and after the relationship my confidence in my looks was at a zero. but a girl has needs, so two weeks ago I decided to redownload hinge. my profile clearly states that I’m mainly looking for fun hook-ups. the first person I met turned out to be a real life incel???? wth????

now to the story:

the second person I met is just… out of this world. the pictures were already 10/10 to me but he‘s even more attractive in person. to the point where he turned heads wherever we walked (actually, we both turned heads hehe). thing is: he didn’t notice once.

the entire date he was focused on me and only me, listened, asked questions, answered mine honestly und unashamedly, gave me adorable compliments that made me blush, seemed smart, and most importantly made his desire for me known very respectfully.

we walked around and talked for hours before getting some dinner (he ordered for me once I told him what I wanted and made sure to mention my dietary restrictions, like huh? even the waitress looked at me like it was the cutest thing she’d ever seen, he also paid and he tipped well!)

after dinner he made sure I knew there were no expectations from his side and that if I wanted to go home he‘d be perfectly fine with it and that he’d had a great time. the smooth operator that I am I told him that I would go home but only if he came with 🙂‍↕️.

my god is he good in bed. and the stamina. and the entire time he was so focused on me, my pleasure, made sure I felt comfortable, listened to me but also to my body’s cues. we only slept around four hours bc we couldn’t stop chatting and having sex. I accompanied him to the train station at 2pm the next day. I felt like a goddess.

we‘re meeting again tomorrow and when I told him yesterday that I got my period he said: ‚so what? I wanna see you either way, I want to spend time with you.‘

the crux:

I am a bit suspicious lmao. Like… idk the whole thing seems too good to be true, you know? we clicked so well but that happens to me with a lot of people. He‘s so expressive with his compliments (which are both about my personality and my looks) and support that I had to look up what classifies as love-bombing and what doesn’t.

I‘m excited to see where it goes but I‘m also making sure I stay emotionally somewhat uninvested for now (I don’t want to fall into the limerence trap, or my typical adhd hyperfixation trap). Any advice is very welcome and appreciated!