I feel like my life is falling apart (transphobia)
Someone I was close to who I looked up to has started spewing insane terf and anti trans views, as well as trying to make me prove my identity and blaming me for the consequences she's experiencing. I fucking hate my lack of spine and leaving my inbox open to her rants. I cant change her, and I cant prove myself and all its doing is making me feel like a disgusting stupid freak. I cant go much more into it without potentially doxxing myself but Ive put years of my life and big trauma related trust into the relationship. It feels like everyone else is sick of my shit, my mental health and my struggles, my insecurities, my lack of coping. I don't know what I'm doing and reaching my goals while struggling this hard with mental health feels like climbing a down escalator. I just want to feel loved, wanted, seen and not all this shame, guilt and embarrassment for wanting that.
How the fuck do you deal with someone you cared about being a fucking transphobe? How do I let my rage be bigger and make all the other noise insignificant?