divorce/custody
hello,
Location: Texas
my fiance/boyfriend, whatever you want to call him, made some stupid decisions when he was younger, he got his high school girlfriend pregnant, after the baby was born, they decided to get married (only on paper, never lived together, never did anything you do with your spouse, he immediately left for the marine corps) and the marriage essentially was over before baby is 3. they’ve been separated for 4-5 years (baby is 7, 8 this year) but not legally divorced.
throughout the entire relationship she has called him a deadbeat, said he doesn’t do anything for her (baby), etc, despite him offering, trying to get her to come over so that he can get the things baby needs, etc. mom also has a history of going MIA for weeks on end,leaving her daughter with her parents to go pay bills at random men’s houses, she’s had men who put their hands on her around her daughter several times (one is a brother of a friend) her phone was just shut off for an entire month and he wasn’t able to talk to his daughter other than softball games that whole time. we have been constantly trying to get her over the last year and a half, with no luck. every time baby goes back home, mom says that she hates us, is scared, etc. we have recordings proving this is false, we have asked her if she feels safe, if she’s scared of daddy, and the answer is always a resounding no.
we are talking to a lawyer and are about to retain him, $5500 to start initial proceedings and get the “standard” custody agreement, which is 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends, with alternating holidays, etc.
i asked about 50/50 custody, because mom has a history of making bad decisions and posting them all over social media, with daughter in pictures, as well as whatever else i have mentioned above. the lawyer said that it would be another $15-20k to do a custody battle like that, what i don’t understand is why we can’t just ask for 50/50 initially? would it automatically make it a different kind of fight? why would dad have to spend that much money to be able to see his child for the time that he is supposed to?
literally any advice would be great, we want to be informed before we go back.
EDITING TO ADD: there are no formal custody orders, no child support set up (that’s what WE are doing), no letters from the attorney general saying he has to pay (idk the lawyer said something about that so i thought to add.) she has done nothing to hold him accountable, so to be able to see his daughter, he is taking himself to court.