r/ChildSupport4Men

This is, admittedly, a little out of left field. 95% sure my ex has received cash under the table for some jobs over the past few years. A few show up on Venmo (it says payment for working X hours from boss). It doesn't say how much, though.

I would like to prove this. For example, if taxes list her income as $20,000 for that year, but her expenses exceed that by quite a bit, would that be cause for the court to reconsider?

In other words, $20,000 is 1600 a month before any deductions. Her rent was $1300 a month. Add in gas, electricity, insurance, groceries, cell phone, etc, and there is no way she could cover it all. Does this lend itself to proving she made extra cash, and that her income was actually higher?

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

So I was kicked out of my girlfriends apartment and as soon as I left I was put on child support , I was going through it mentally at the time I went to court and they made me pay $500 a check and $100 in arrears . I didn’t know at that time they didn’t take my son who is 14 into consideration , I only make $22 . I’ve been trying to fight it in court . The question is “ shouldn’t they lower my support for my 3 yr old since I’ve obtained 50/50 custody and I have a 14 yr old ? “ I also have joint custody of my son and we made an agreement througj court that I pay $400 a month , why am I paying my daughters mother $1,200 a month ? It’s crazy how I am being treated !!! Be careful when you guys go to court and have paperwork for everything , they will take advantage of your mental state of losing time with your kids and you losing your wife or girlfriend , I literally went crazy when she took my daughter . “ I literally thought I was the messiah for a couple days “ mental health is real . Take care of yourselves !!!!!

If there’s been 50/50 custody since the split, would either parent have to pay child support?

MN: So my friend is a father of two. Him and their mother split in 2017, and have always had 50/50 custody.

She applied for benefits so it obviously triggered the state to find the father, and seek child support. Which it did because neither showed up to court. Child support started coming out of his checks, and she would Venmo it back to him. (Most of it anyway, it turns out during this period she still kept/stole about $15,000)

He ended up figuring out how to get child support to stop coming out. He filled out some forms or something, and it was recognized that he had half custody. Even split, if not more time with dad since he also got them every holiday, and would take them on vacations. That was back in 2020/21 and everything has been smooth on the child support front since then, although they stopped talking on a personal level about a year ago.

Fast forward to yesterday. My friend calls me to tell me that he went to pay rent, and his payment didn’t go through. He said child support was taken out, and when he called the state told him that he owes $80,000 in back child support. He most definitely thought it was a mistake by the state or she went to apply for medical assistance (another possible fraud point as she has a full time job that has good insurance, she’d just rather keep getting insurance for free from the state) which triggered the child support thing again. He text the mother to see when she was going to Venmo it back to him.

She fired back: I’m not. It’s not a mistake. I did this on purpose, and do not contact me again. Then blocked him.

He is obviously panicking and feeling overwhelmed. He plans on trying to find a lawyer, but they’re expensive.

Isn’t that fraud? She had to have blatantly lied on a form for them to start it back up, and go for back payments from the point of separation in 2017. Will she get away with this? Who can he contact in the meantime while finding a lawyer?

ETA: He is not trying to get out of child support, and he is not my boyfriend 😂

ETA2: Yikes. He does sound screwed. The childrens’ life was better at their mom’s because her husband makes insane money, although I doubt that counts because they are not his children.

Not sure where to begin. I’ve been feeling depressed about my situation and not sure how to fix it. I am a sober alcoholic for starters. I’m also a 35 year old female. I have been sober for almost 2 years in August (no fronts I know). So the situation is, I got divorced officially Jan 2024 when the papers were signed, but separated in 2023. This is some ancillary information and get some popcorn because this might be a long post, hopefully you stay interested because I really need some real feedback/guidance.

I was legally married to the father of my children for 7 years, but in total we were together for 12 total. I thought I loved him, but as it turned out, I was clinging to someone when I was 20 who I thought would protect and shelter me. I’ve been in and out of my mom’s house since I was 17, and started drinking at age 12 off and on until I was a full blown alcoholic at 16/17.

So more ancillary info, my mom and I have a weird estranged relationship and not a stable support system to present day, but I appreciate the support she has tried to provide the best way she’s known how. So at any rate, I went from an abusive relationship with my mom to an abusive relationship with my ex-husband for 12 years.

We conceived 2 beautiful children together, but in the divorce, he was able to do some very hurtful things that have greatly benefited him today. I was not sober when we divorced. Prior to the divorce I had attempted suicide once and put myself in a mental hospital after that of having thoughts of committing suicide and I thought I was just losing it. This downward spiral happened after the stillbirth of what would have been our third child. My ex-husband has always been abusive but nothing I can prove in court.

Over those 12 years, I was no angel, however I feel like there has been reactive abuse on my end. He has exhibited a lot of psychological aggression, publicly humiliating me, manipulating situations to make me look bad to his family so they would disapprove of me and it incited a lot of family drama. Again, I’m not perfect, I have flaws. Verbal abuse where he would berate me for days that I didn’t load the dishwasher correctly. Coercive abuse where I wasn’t allowed to have friends and he manipulated situations to force me to believe ( a lot of brainwashing) that people weren’t my friends and everyone was out to get me, in an effort to be home with him. I wasn’t allowed to get my hair done, get my nails done, and he hated whenever I wore makeup. He told me once he didn’t really want the children. There was some physical abuse with corporal punishment on our special needs son, and I would intervene and I would get pushed. I was choked, and he would yell and use psychological aggression on the kids to get them to listen. I didn’t agree with it and things would get physical between us.
Whenever I claimed I was going to call the police (I should never have announced it) he would take my phone and not allow me to have it back until I promised not to call the police.

Long story short, he was able to prove through my hospitalizations in the divorce that I wasn’t mentally stable to keep the children. I told him I was going to my mom’s for a few days to clear my head. I wasn’t 100% sure of my intentions to file for divorce at the time, because we had young children and my daughter was only 1 1/2. After giving it some thought, my plan was to file for protective custody whilst at my mom’s and go pick the kids up from school. When my ex filed, he filed for protective custody first claiming I was going to flee the country with the kids.

I had managed to pick one up from school. To make this part of the story short, we encountered each other in traffic, he got one child from school and I had gotten the other. He called the police on me and demanded them that I give our son to him (he had managed to get our daughter). The police called me and told me it was a civil matter but they said his behavior was bizarre (I can’t get a copy of this report because it happened in 2023 and I don’t remember who the officer was). The police said my ex was combative and claimed to be tracking me and they urged me it was best to take my son to my mom’s because that sounded safer.

He has also stalked me post-divorce.

So he filed for an ex-parte restraining order which called for an emergency custody hearing, he told them I was going to flee the country (not true I didn’t have income and I didn’t have anywhere to go but my moms). My mom took forever to find a lawyer she felt was good enough to handle our case (grateful I had legal representation sort of) and I didn’t have legal representation at that initial hearing. The judge agreed that I give my son back to their father and it was ordered during the separation that I pay child support.

An OAG account was never created so I had to pay him out of pocket for a year, and he basically extorted me for it and one time made me pay him $900 instead of the agreed $550. When those arrangements were made I ended up having a job paying $12.00 while living at my moms. Eventually I wasn’t getting on my feet fast enough for her (I lasted at her house for a few months) when I had to move out. So I got a better paying job and got an apartment for me and had a place to bring the kids. I still wasn’t sober yet. He also ended up winning custody of the kids because my attorney told me if I were to bring up the alleged abuse, there’s a chance the judge could take the kids from both of us.

I paid child support until my addiction brought me to losing my job and me wanting to die. Then I was facing eviction so I went back to my mom’s while I was getting sober and going to A.A. She did help me as much as she could get out of the eviction financial bind and I came clean to her about the alcohol addiction. To this day she doesn’t believe that I have a problem with alcohol but that’s a different story. She drinks so long story short guess what I didn’t last long at my mom’s again. At this point I felt like a loser.

I didn’t have anywhere to go and my step dad was starting drama (he’s a con artist and drinks and siphons money from my mom but that’s another story).

I was going to be homeless but my sponsor from A.A. got me into sober living. I wasn’t able to see my children for awhile because of my sober living arrangements, hard to explain. Then I ended up with no car and had to take the bus. I sold my car to pay my sober living rent while I was getting on my feet with a serving job. It was hard trying to keep a roof over my head. I put child support on the back burner. I didn’t have much money for food. I was on food stamps and I was underweight at the time (115 pounds on a 5’6 frame).

I paid when I could, as I could, and tried to talk to my ex about how I’ve gotten into this hole and needed to figure something out of how I could get on my feet so I could be stable for the children, but all the extra money that I really didn’t have was going to him.

Eventually my mom helped me out with having visitation with the kids until a point when she didn’t want me to have them at her house overnight anymore which forced me and my boyfriend (met in program after divorce) to get a place together maybe a little sooner than we wanted to, but alas things are good on that front.

Needless to say, I still don’t have a car. I’ve got back child support reporting on my credit and I can’t seem to get ahead and I can’t seem to get an attorney to help pro bono because I can’t afford one.

My ex petitioned to put me in jail. He filed for a motion to enforce. I couldn’t afford an attorney so the court appointed me one. My ex tried to say during the separation I never paid child support (it’s not reporting on OAG but I sent in bank statements and filled out a form in 2024 stating that I did make payments). My ex wouldn’t fill out his portion to say he received it. So in court it looked like I hadn’t paid on paper during the separation, so this was when I was court ordered to pay in 2023 before an OAG account was created for me to make payments to. My attorney and I were able to prove those payments and explain how I got behind on payments in sobriety. And apparently, anything prior to the divorce from temporary orders doesn’t stand, the final decree does.

My ex is making me pay half of the kids medical. My son has special needs. He has severe autism and is non-verbal. He does 40 hours of ABA therapy a week. I cannot afford my portion of ABA which is $4,000 a quarter after insurance. My ex hasn’t paid ABA since before we separated in 2022. I have proof of this documented in writing from ABA. ABA also told me that if I were the custodial parent, I would qualify for a hardship for my son to continue therapy without having to make payment or making a reduced payment. I don’t have primary custody, so my payments are based off my ex’s income, and he makes $70-$90k net a year. I make net $24,000 after child support is garnished.

I don’t think it’s fair that I have that portion of medical reporting on my credit and I’m ordered to pay it when I can’t afford it, and that I’m making extra payments for the back pay of it to my ex when he hasn’t made a payment to ABA in 4 years.

My son is almost 9 now, and he started ABA when he was 2. For the past 2 years I haven’t seen much growth in his maladaptive behavior (I.e. trying to break my nose over breakfast) or his speech or any consistent form of communication, or much improvement in my son’s joint attention which is why my ex won’t put him in special needs public school yet.

My ex does not co parent well and doesn’t tell me what they’re working on. My son’s therapist tells me the same things I already know with positive reinforcement and re-directing bad behavior.

I’m sure there are more things I’m not thinking of with all of this but this is the gist.

My daughter is going to be 5 in a month and she tells me disturbing things involving corporal punishment with my ex and the kids. Idk what to do I can’t afford an attorney and there’s so much financial abuse like what can I do, really? At this rate I’m going to be indebted to him for a very long time and I can’t get ahead.

I live paycheck to paycheck with my boyfriend. I never finished college. I’m 35 and I just want to make more money to pay the $50k in debt inherited in the divorce and child support. I don’t feel like I’m thriving. I want to be able to have a car and take my children to do things during visitation without being worried if I have enough money to do it. What can I do? Suggestions on increasing income? Suggestions on an attorney to help? I need a damn good job. And attorney. I never want to see/talk/deal with my ex ever and I would want the children full-time. Sigh. Feels hopeless.

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

I'm in Indiana and have a question about how child support works after a custody modification.

Hypothetical numbers for simplicity:

• Mother currently owes Father approximately $5,520 in child support arrears from an existing support order.
• In the future, if parenting time were modified to 50/50, the Indiana Child Support Guidelines would likely result in Father owing Mother approximately $115/week in ongoing child support due to their income disparity.

My question is: What typically happens in this situation?

Would:

1. Father immediately begin paying Mother $115/week while Mother separately continues paying her arrears?
2. Would the court order Father's new support obligation to be credited against Mother's existing arrears until they're satisfied (roughly 48 weeks in this example), with Father's payments beginning afterward?
3. Is this something the court can do only if both parties agree, or can the court order it over objection?

For purposes of this question, please assume:

• The arrears are owed directly to Father, not to the State.
• I'm not referring to any other judgments or reimbursement orders - only child support arrears.
• The custody modification and child support modification would occur in Indiana.

I'm mainly trying to understand how Indiana courts typically handle this situation and whether an offset is legally permissible or whether the two obligations are generally treated completely separately.

Thanks!

I genuinely do not know how to put into words what I want to say, but here goes nothing. March 20206 is when I’ve received a letter from child maintenance services informing me that I will be starting to pay around £300 a month for “my child” starting April. It was the first ever time even finding out about this whole mess. At first I did not take it seriously as I’ve not been into any relationships or had unprotected relations. I kept getting calls from them and I eventually discussed with them. I raised a dispute and requested a DNA test. I’ve informed them of my situation (financial), how is the first I’m hearing about this and that it couldn’t be my child. They half heartedly told me they will raise a dispute and ask the mother to do the dna test. I have no way to contact the “alleged” mother and I’m not even 100% certain it is who I think it is. After some back and forth they’ve told me about Cell mark and how it works. They never discussed prices, never asked me to broke down my expenses, I was told to call in April when I will be paid which I’ve attempted but since then I’ve been unable to get through. I’ve got deducted around £500 from my last pay and this has pretty much incapacitated me and I’m trying to figure out a way to keep my sanity. I don’t have any family support , I am (25M) and a foreign national. I work full time. I don’t expect anything coming out of this, but if anyone has gone through something like this, any serious advice would be greatly appreciated.

P.S : I’m sorry, I tried to explain everything as coherently and clearly as I can put it . Thank you for understanding.

I am the respondent father in family court against my ex, the applicant mother. She was granted a motion for decision making and child support including arrears. She submitted an affidavit for the child support on Friday and I prepared my evidence and financials based on that over the weekend. Then on Monday, she submitted another affidavit regarding sole decision making with about 40 points regarding the abuse she endured from me (side note: this was already thrown out in criminal court when she attempted to charge me there before family court) and made twisted allegations regarding my girlfriend. At this point, I am done fighting her. I will not be going to the motion and she can have whatever she wants. I cannot take the mental abuse she is putting me through on a daily basis and using our child as a pawn. I will also be relinquishing my child to her and will no longer be doing visitations because as long as I do that, she will continue to abuse me. Has anyone gone through something similar? This has been a decision I have been back and forth with for 5 years so I am not taking this lightly. I cannot continue to lose my mental health at her hands (or words in this case). It is not healthy for me, my child with her, my girlfriend or my child with my girlfriend.

I'm a single father in Sonoma County, California, and I'm looking for advice from anyone who's been through a high-conflict custody case.

I've been involved in family court since my daughter was born, and it's been an exhausting process. Over the course of the case, I've had countless allegations made against me that I believe have never been supported by evidence, yet I still feel like I'm constantly having to defend myself.

Now the court is requiring a Brief Focused Assessment (BFA), and I'm concerned about how the process is being handled. In the past, my daughter's mother selected the family counselor, and in my opinion the counselor did not complete the responsibilities that were expected during the case. Because of that experience, I'm worried about ending up in a similar situation again.

Has anyone successfully asked the court to have input on who performs the BFA? Is it reasonable to request that the evaluator be selected jointly by both parents, chosen from an approved list, or appointed by the court instead of one parent having the choice?

If you've been through this in California—especially Sonoma County—I would really appreciate hearing what worked for you. If you have experience filing a request with the court or know what factors judges consider when deciding who performs a BFA, I'd love to hear your advice.

I'm not looking to attack my daughter's mother. I just want a fair process that focuses on what's in my daughter's best interests.

Thank you.

Hi everyone,

I’m trying to figure out what would be a fair amount to ask my baby’s father to contribute and I want outside opinions before I decide.

We have an 11-month-old daughter. She lives with me about 90% of the time. I’m currently not working because Im in an ABSN program.

Her father works in New York City and makes around $70K–$90K per year. He does not have her often (very limited overnights). I currently receive Medicaid for her (no monthly cost), and I need her to start daycare soon full time which would be around 1500

I’ve been trying to figure out what would be fair to ask for monthly. I don’t want to overask, but I also want to make sure I’m not underestimating what she needs. I also want us to continue our good relationship. I hear horror stories and I do not want to go thrh courts so pls no suggestion of that.

From what I’ve researched, I’ve seen numbers anywhere from about $700 to $1,100/month depending on income and time-sharing, but I’m not sure if that’s fair. I have a lot of support and I have been living off of money saved from the time I was working and pregnant. (He was not) I also never have asked him to contribute anything. He has though about 3000ish over the 11 months.

What would you consider fair in this situation?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Do I need a lawyer for family court? I have had my daughter for the last 5 years. For context she is 15. She has lived with me full-time since 2020. Before that we had joint custody. Today I decided it was time she was responsible for this child as well financially. My daughter does see her mom occasionally but my daughter dosent go to her house because of her new husband. So I filed for custody and support. Im wondering if I need lawyer? We went to our first appearance and she said she was getting a lawyer. I make to much to qualify for a public defender. But not enough to pay the $5000 to $7000 retainer fees. I guess my question is if my daughter lives with me full time do I need a lawyer for custody and support or is this something I can do myself.

Edit: The reason she does not want to be around moms husband is due to the past. They are former drug addicts and she witnessed the fighting. Shes seen him abuse animals. She is just very uncomfortable around him.

One of my 2 children just turned 18M and the other is 16F both have finished online school (high school diploma equivalent) and my child support payment decreased from 833 to 664. Their mom wants to take it to court because 664 is not enough for her. She holds a part time job because she has two other small children (that “prevents” her from working full time) with her new husband. Both my older kids have psychological issues (under her watch/full custody) but nothing that disables them. Anybody had something similar?

Currently, I have 3 nights a week with our 18 week old son Napoleon. My wife has him 4 nights a week. It is a temporary court ordered arrangement that has been in effect since 4/1/26. We have court on 7/10/26.

I am desperately trying to obtain an equal 50/50 so child support will kick in. I have a free court appointed lawyer. My wife made $96017 on last year's tax return. I make $13627 in ssdi for autism. I have done some research and it looks like she will have to pay me over $1200 a month if I can secure 50/50. Does the state usually stick with the 17 percent? I assume she will argue for a downward deviation because I live with my parents due to my disability.

Any information or tips on how to navigate this process would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

Even though the Mediator sided with me because the kids were born and raised here in SoCal and all their support system and friends are here, recommending me to be the primary parent while she get vacations, the Judge reversed it because of how the ex claimed she will have more financial benefits. We don't have, the children don't have any family support in Texas but Judge sided with her anyway. I had a feeling Judge was iffy by the way he was looking at her previously. Sigh. Son just turned 11 and daughter is 9.

Lawyer said if I move to TX and live there, the jurisdiction of the kids will become TX. I'm getting cancer treatment here and I don't know what employment opportunities are there at Plano TX, plus my sis and mom paying rent at our place here. I want to be where my kids are at. I'm just stuck and just really need time to digest all this. I want to see how it is being the "vacation/holiday" parent and see how the kids will handle it. I have been there for them since the beginning as the stay at home parent while they are use to her being away for work.

Is there a way to reverse this? If the children just don't adjust or get depressed or anything? She said in the order that she'll pay for flights even for mine, my lawyer said that's a good thing. She pays me child support, so that may change now even though the amount for 2 kids is only like $800. Even when she texted me about the move, she had an option for me to also move there. She knows how great of a dad I am for them. It's just sad. Now I get why Courts are sometimes against Fathers no matter what. It's just insane how the judge disregarded what the Mediator reported.

Hi. So this isn’t my story. But it is based on my friend who lives in the US and id like to have some input on it.

Currently my friend (let’s call him John) John, has gone to court on a couple occasions for the same reason. Custody of his child.

Unfortunately he has lost every single one, and this is where it confuses me.

John has gone to court to fight his ex for the custody of his child, that is currently and has been living with him for over a year, and he is STILL paying her child support. Even though the child does not live with her.

From what I’ve gathered about the ex, she does not have a stable home. And is not a very good mother in general, she has sent her child to school In unhygienic clothes on multiple occasions when they lived with her, and barely fed him. When he did live with her, it was in a shared living accommodation with another family (this would mean it would be the ex, ex’s bf, the child and their sister + another family) and they would be sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

Now they live with their father and is much happier, they have a stable living conditions, food and kept clean and sent to school in the right clothing in the conditions of the weather. The child themselves has said they do not want to live with their mother and much rather stay with the dad.

They went to court today and the child themselves had went with my friend John in testimony to stay with their dad, and yet they still lost. Because the judge said that it sounded like johns child’s testimony was cohearsed. Which I think is a shitty excuse.

What can my friend do in this situation to make sure he can have custody? This is the fourth attempt, and he’s been gathering so much proof that she is not fit to be in custody and still loosing. How can I help him?

I'm bringing home about 1180 bucks after taxes etc and I'm getting 500 taken out of each check 1100 a month total they backdated arrears (2 kids with ex wife). I'm waiting for a motion bc I have another child I can't even send money for bc it's not an official court order (me and her mom have a deal worked out). I went on hard times last year and just started getting back on my feet. I had to move in with my mom after my separation and lost my car etc. I'm just trying to figure out how I can even afford to live or even live on my own so I can see my kids more (can't stay overnight at my moms, can't pick them up bc I don't have a car)