u/EveryUniversity8979

Going through a divorce in NY with three kids and looking for insight from anyone who has dealt with something similar.
My ex makes about $182k and I make about $130k. Our current schedule is technically 4 overnights with her and 3 with me.
One important piece of context is that I never agreed to this 4/3 split as our permanent parenting arrangement. We were in mediation and I believed the actual long-term parenting schedule, along with the other divorce issues, would ultimately be worked out there. Mediation broke down before that happened, so the temporary arrangement basically remained in place.
The complication is that even on some of her weekdays, I’m still doing a lot of the actual parenting. I pick the kids up from school/camp, handle transportation and extracurriculars, feed them, and keep them until she gets home from work around 6:30. I’ve also been paying substantial expenses for the kids, particularly travel soccer/extracurriculars, and they are on my health insurance.
The judge actually acknowledged that I provide after-school care on my ex’s parenting days and that this saves us childcare costs. The court also found that my ex earns substantially more than I do.
Despite that, because the current overnight schedule is 4/3, I was ordered to pay $1,934.53/month in temporary child support.
What surprised me even more is that my ex requested $1,837.34/month, and the judge noted that the support worksheet her side submitted didn’t include the required FICA deductions. The court performed its own calculation and ultimately awarded more than she requested.
My attorney’s position is that the result was largely driven by the 4/3 overnight split. I already have the kids Tuesday after school, so Tuesday becoming an overnight would create either 4/3 in my direction or potentially a true 50/50 arrangement. We’re considering a four-way conference before making another application regarding the parenting schedule.
I’m not looking to avoid supporting my kids. I’ve already been spending a significant amount directly on them. I’m struggling with how the lower-earning parent, who is doing close to half the parenting and paying substantial direct expenses, ends up paying almost $2k/month to the higher-earning parent largely because of one overnight—especially when the 4/3 arrangement was never intended by me to be the permanent custody schedule.
Has anyone in NY gone through something similar where a temporary/informal parenting arrangement ended up driving a child-support decision before custody was actually finalized? Did moving from 4/3 to true 50/50 materially change support? And did the court meaningfully consider extracurricular expenses, health insurance, or actual parenting hours rather than simply the overnight count?
I’d especially appreciate experiences from NY family-law attorneys or parents who have actually litigated something similar.

Going through a divorce in NY with three kids and looking for insight from anyone who has dealt with something similar.
My ex makes about $182k and I make about $130k. Our current schedule is technically 4 overnights with her and 3 with me.
One important piece of context is that I never agreed to this 4/3 split as our permanent parenting arrangement. We were in mediation and I believed the actual long-term parenting schedule, along with the other divorce issues, would ultimately be worked out there. Mediation broke down before that happened, so the temporary arrangement basically remained in place.
The complication is that even on some of her weekdays, I’m still doing a lot of the actual parenting. I pick the kids up from school/camp, handle transportation and extracurriculars, feed them, and keep them until she gets home from work around 6:30. I’ve also been paying substantial expenses for the kids, particularly travel soccer/extracurriculars, and they are on my health insurance.
The judge actually acknowledged that I provide after-school care on my ex’s parenting days and that this saves us childcare costs. The court also found that my ex earns substantially more than I do.
Despite that, because the current overnight schedule is 4/3, I was ordered to pay $1,934.53/month in temporary child support.
What surprised me even more is that my ex requested $1,837.34/month, and the judge noted that the support worksheet her side submitted didn’t include the required FICA deductions. The court performed its own calculation and ultimately awarded more than she requested.
My attorney’s position is that the result was largely driven by the 4/3 overnight split. I already have the kids Tuesday after school, so Tuesday becoming an overnight would create either 4/3 in my direction or potentially a true 50/50 arrangement. We’re considering a four-way conference before making another application regarding the parenting schedule.
I’m not looking to avoid supporting my kids. I’ve already been spending a significant amount directly on them. I’m struggling with how the lower-earning parent, who is doing close to half the parenting and paying substantial direct expenses, ends up paying almost $2k/month to the higher-earning parent largely because of one overnight—especially when the 4/3 arrangement was never intended by me to be the permanent custody schedule.
Has anyone in NY gone through something similar where a temporary/informal parenting arrangement ended up driving a child-support decision before custody was actually finalized? Did moving from 4/3 to true 50/50 materially change support? And did the court meaningfully consider extracurricular expenses, health insurance, or actual parenting hours rather than simply the overnight count?
I’d especially appreciate experiences from NY family-law attorneys or parents who have actually litigated something similar.

Looking for some opinions from parents and coaches.
I have two daughters playing travel soccer, one U12 and one U9. The U12 team practices three times a week for 1 hour 15 minutes, and the U9 team practices twice a week for 1 hour 15 minutes. During the summer there’s no regular team training, just two weeks of camp.
Against average or weaker clubs they do fine, but whenever they play stronger clubs they get beat pretty badly.
What I’ve noticed is that the kids who seem to improve the most are also doing private training or small group sessions outside of practice. I know that’s not an option for every family.
So I’m wondering: is the amount of team training they’re getting enough for them to keep improving over the years, or is extra training outside the club pretty much necessary if they want to play at a higher level?
Just trying to get a feel for what’s normal these days and whether this is more about the club, the amount of practice, or the work players put in on their own.