Level 2 autism
Going for this flair because it seems to be most accurate for how I'm feeling.
Got my daughter's diagnosis today. My gut knew it was ASD. I thought level 1 and things would be okay. Nope, level 2. I've cried a bit. Because I'm relieved and validated but at the same time I'm mourning the life she could've had. I know it's not the end of the world. I know we can put things in place to help her succeed which is all I want for her.
How do I do that when my ADHD makes it virtually impossible to keep my shit together? How do I support her while she's dysregulated while I'm dysregulated? How do I not fuck her up even more.
I hate that her life is going to be harder. I didn't want for her what I went through. I didn't want the challenges that I had.
And I know this isn't who she is. She is my amazing little human that has this going on and that's not all she is. How do I do this?
The good news is we already have speech in place and that's where she's lacking the most. She can talk but it's super surface level which I didn't even realise until it was pointed out. How did I not notice that?
Fuck this shit. I just wanted my kid to have a better and easier childhood than me.