Need guidance..
Good evening. what was supposed to be normal lab work today turned into a diagnosis of ectopic pregnancy and i am just so heartbroken… found out i was pregnant on june 14, have no idea how far along i was or would have been. last period was may 4th but i believe i ovulated the last week of may. my hcg levels never really doubled within the 48-72 hours expected except one time, in which they more than doubled, but then the rate they rose began to slow down…. today my doctor pulled a level of 3000, and i will be clear, we never ever found a sac anywhere. not in utero, not in a tube, ovaries, nowhere. i had my first ultrasound on june 22nd, another on june 30, and another today. never found anything anywhere. based on the fact we never found a sac, my hcg levels were not rising appropriately, and my progesterone level of about 5, dr came to conclusion of ectopic. not sure where baby was, but certain not in utero. she talked to me about the pros and cons of waiting and even if i would have waited, she advocated that it seemed very unlikely to be a viable, healthy pregnancy.
we did decide to take the MTX. i have no idea how far along i would have been, and i am so heartbroken and battling this mentally. i have no idea if this was the right choice, and something within me is so confused religiously if i should have accepted the mtx. I am heavily christian and i don’t know, before today, i didnt even know what mtx was, so i am struggling heavily. i ultimately do think i did the best thing for my health and safety since baby was not growing intrauterine, but i cant help but wonder about the what if.
**edit: i’ve read this a few times now, maybe i just needed to rant. my heart hurts a lot