I lost my brother 2 years ago in a traumatic way.
I lost my brother 2 years ago. He committed suicide while extremely intoxicated and during a very heated argument with his wife who was cheating on him and would leave him for a couple of weeks and then come back and cause chaos. While generally happy and vibrant—the weeks before his death were very sad for him. And he started drinking a lot.
She left the house after fighting with him for hours, he died, and my elderly father found him approximately an hour later. It broke my dad’s heart and he’s not the same. We all have so much anger and sadness due to the finality of the suicide in a situation where I wish I could have helped him and made him feel the love I had and do have for him.
Travis was my oldest brother and he thought the world of me. I miss feeling so safe and loved by him. I miss his laugh, our inside jokes, and the way he made any situation feel better by just being there. I miss him so much. I haven’t felt his presence since a few weeks after he died. No dreams. No moments of just feeling him around me. It feels so completely wrong because I know Travis would give me some sort of sign if he could.
Does anyone have any insight into how he is or if he’s ok? I’d give anything for a dream or a feeling of him being with me. I hope he knows how much I love and miss him. I think about him every single day.