Daycare vs. nanny vs. mother’s helper on the UWS? Overwhelmed by childcare
Hi! First-time mom here, due any day now, and already trying to figure out childcare as 2 full parents with full time jobs. We’re planning to have a night nurse for the first month while I’m on leave, but beyond that, I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the options and costs. When to start looking for childcare for when i go back to work and what the best solution is for our family. Would love advice from other UWS/Manhattan parents!
We’ll need daytime childcare when our baby is around 5 months old. The daycare we’re considering (very basic/standard near our house) costs about $4,100/month, and apparently tuition drops to around $3,900 when they’re 2–3 years old. We know we want another kid (and i know it’s early to already be thinking about this, but i am already in my mid-late 30s and my husband is in his 40s so we were hoping to have them close together). Seeing those numbers is making me question how people afford two kids in NYC, especially if they want them relatively close in age!
A little about our situation:
● I’m an NP with two inflexible clinic days per week. The rest of my work is administrative and I Can work from home 3–4 days a week, but I would still need full-time childcare during those days.
● My husband works in finance and is outside the home.
● We live on the Upper West Side.
I’m trying to figure out whether daycare, a full-time nanny, a nanny share, or some combination of childcare options makes the most sense.
A few questions I’d love advice on:
● Daycare vs. nanny: Is daycare worth it at 5 months, or did anyone find a nanny to be a better option financially or logistically?
● Nanny shares: How do you find families to share with on the UWS? Where do you look, and how does the arrangement work in practice?
● Mother’s helpers: Is this realistic when working from home, or do you really need someone who can independently care for the baby while you work?
● Hybrid care: Has anyone used part-time daycare plus a nanny or babysitter for the other days? Does that actually work?
● Planning for baby #2: How do you make the finances work if you want kids1-2 years apart? $8000 a month seems like a lot! Do childcare costs meaningfully decrease as kids get older, or does it feel like you’re paying a fortune for years?
● Timing and logistics: Did your childcare arrangements change when you had a second baby? Did you wish you had done anything differently?
I realize I haven’t even had my first baby yet and am already worrying about childcare for two kids, but the costs are making it hard not to think ahead! I’d especially love to hear from parents who have been in a similar situation, including what you actually pay for childcare on the UWS and what has worked best for your family.
Thank you!!