Has anyone regretted sharing their RJ with their partner?
My (39M) wife (33F) and I have been married 7.5 years, together for 10. Two kids, great life. I’ve been struggling with RJ ever since I learned of my wife’s promiscuous past by going through her messages several months ago.
My issue is not that my wife was with other men, but that she was more adventurous in bed with other men than she’s ever been with me.
I really struggled and still do a lot of the time. Frequent breakdowns, started seeing a therapist, started taking an SSRI.
My wife knows I’m struggling and, while I’ve shared bits and pieces of details with her, I haven’t told her the full story of going through her phone and seeing this uninhibited side of her. It eats at me, and despite every instinct telling me I shouldn’t, I really want to clear the air and tell her what I know.
I don’t want to keep carrying this alone but I fear telling her will backfire. I invaded her privacy by going through her phone and now I’m dredging up her past.
For those of you who have come forward to your partner about your RJ, how did that conversation go? Did it help or hurt the relationship?